The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/03/11
What is this fascinating pull that draws us toward blood relatives? Common in many of us I think. I did not expect that ending. I suppose the MC did not either.

This was clever: "And the bones of the skeleton began to rattle."
03/04/11
Okay- you've got my attention-- a topic close to my heart (it's the topic of my WIP novel ;) ).

I think it's definitely on-topic as you're showing how consuming this became for your MC, and it's not hard to believe it would- it's consumed my brain for years now.

I love the way you express the MC's emotions throughout the story. And I love the metaphors you use.

For me, the format of it is just missing something that I can't pinpoint- and that may be just me. It feels a little like a journal entry- or several journal entries. Not sure- it might also be that it's a big time period trying to fit in the confines of a short story-- I have trouble with that myself. I think if it were focused more just on that last moment,lacing in the history of it,and focusing on the intensity of that big discovery- that it would have ramped up the emotion of it.

Good work! I liked this. :)
03/04/11
Wow - what a twist! Great job stringing along the suspense and drawing the reader in. Well done!
03/05/11
Excellent in suspense. I'm glad you didn't leave the reader wondering. I'm glad, too, that it was fiction.--Good job of being on-topic.
03/06/11
I agree with the comments. The suspense was there all the way through and you were bang on topic. Well done.
03/06/11
I enjoyed your coverage of the research and curiosity that drove it. Nice to know that it is fictional, but it is entirely credible; not simply in the detail, but in the emotions and the light touches of humour that escort us through your emotions.
03/09/11
Great suspenseful writing. Had me hunting along with the MC the whole time, wondering. Not all stories have a happy ending, but a well-told story doesn't necessarily need one.
03/09/11
You had me going for a minute, I thought this story might be real.

I liked the mystery and suspense.
03/15/11
Congratulations for placing in the top 12 of your level and the top 30 overall!