The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good entry. I loved the descriptions of the morning... the alarm being from the "dark side" and "Edison's torture." It reflects my own feelings of morning. :)

I don't think you needed to explain who Connie was, or you could have said "my sister," but the parenthesis was a bit distracting. This is a very minor issue, however.

Great job with the story. I liked the ending.
Wow, you have really opened up the turmoil and the hopes of your MC's mind, though I'm not sure where the doorstep guest fits into the picture. But I did like the twist at the end: a prayer meeting without the expected travel. Good work!
Your descriptions make your story come alive, and your mc's thoughts make for excellent characterization. I especially like your unexpected prayer meeting.
Congratulations for placing in the top 12 of your level and the top 30 overall!