I was born old. Come to think of it, I wasn’t born at all. I was scooped. Scooped- from dust and shaped; molded like clay. You might say, He had His hands all over me. I woke up coughing- an enormous cough. So enormous in fact, my chest ached for days; like He meant to blow my lungs right through my feet.
I remember being amazed by the many hues of green. There were flowers as far as my eyes could see with blooms the size of His gigantic hands, and one gaze could not begin to take it all in. There were fruits and vegetables of every type and color imaginable. Grapes the size of my head dripped a tender, sweet, succulent, thirst quenching jam. I lay on my back and sipped from their nectar.
For days on end we strolled above blades of grass as delicate as the wool on the bellies of the new born lambs. He tenderly caressed each animal as if somewhere, through eons of time He had shaped, and molded, and formed them too; as if He knew every inch of their being- each tiny hair of their frame.
His muscular arm draped my shoulders. His eyes, like diamonds cut me like a knife, exposing my innermost thoughts and yearnings. His voice was as warm honey in my ears. He was both Maker- and friend.
He said it was not good I be alone. I pondered how He thought me alone when He was by my side.
Sleep overpowered me. Among the intoxicating aromas of jasmine and honeysuckle; between feathery fronds of ostrich ferns and babies breath; beneath the welcoming, outstretched arms of the mighty oak; under a cloud free sky, I lay.
When I awoke, she was there. She was beautiful with ebony hair, eyes of azure, and skin of ivory. And I was satisfied. A twinge, a hint of discomfort grazed my chest, but a glance into her eyes and the twinge disappeared.
How abruptly it all ended. She offered. I received. Of free will, I partook. He had made it plain. Clear. Undeniable. Immediately we saw as never before- our eyes uncovered and wide. We ran into the thickets to hide. For the first time, aware of our nakedness.
We feared for our lives. Though we had never seen or heard, strangely and suddenly, we were conscious of His anger and disappointment at our disobedience. Our consciousness was correct. His anger kindled against us and we were banished; exiled from that place- forever.
Dirt beneath our feet was harsh and cold, strangely unfamiliar. Stones dug and cut into our flesh, and our blood was shed. We knew hunger and there was no food. We knew nakedness and there were no clothes. We knew shame and there was no grace.
We learned to plant; to turn the earth with our hands. We struggled to survive. Gone were the long talks, loving walks, the soft caress of His enormous, tender hands.
The lady He gave, experienced pain, horrible pain. She screamed: gut wrenching, horrific screams I had never heard nor could have imagined; the pains of birth. A son. Then later, another. Two boys whom we loved and nurtured; the fleshly expression of our earthly love. Before long, we felt death’s sting as one killed the other- a fresh reminder- the cost of our sinful nature.
Though we have worked, labored, and grown old together, still, we remember the garden. There are days warm breezes fondle and dance across sweaty skin, and I snatch passing nuggets of familiar sweet aromas. Then, as suddenly as it appears, it is gone.
I am now old and the time of my passing is near. I have endured greater than a century in time. I know the anguish of loosing a child. I have experienced pain. I feel the heartache- the shame and disgrace of my sinful nature. I have learned to live without the beauty of the garden, the friendship of the animals, feasting among the flowers with only fading memories to torment.
Yet, should He allow me breath and heartbeat for another lifetime I would never escape yearning His touch, His caress, His fellowship. I would never, no never be able to survive one more day without constantly needing Him.
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