The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/17/11
I loved that the teenager was fighting for her independance, yet she cried out to God. I also loved the stuffed animal, and how it never phased her that it was a symbol of her younger days.
Interesting way you’ve presented Halle’s diary entries, thoughts and actions. It was a bit unsettling to read it that way but I think that actually helped me feel what Halle was experiencing.
Very profound opening that held my attention to the end. Good story telling. I enjoyed it.
A good read- very realistic. I liked how you showed the ambivalence that comes with growing up...or at least wanting to. Good job.
02/19/11
Awesome entry! The diary format really works here, and the count-down idea was creatively written.
very interesting and can totally relate, as I'm 19
02/20/11
Great piece. I like the mix of little girl/grown woman and how she sometimes betrays herself. And isn't this the eternal adolescent struggle? Distancing ourselves, but not wanting to at the same time? Well done.
02/20/11
This tug of war could play out at many different ages and transitions. It makes this piece very relatable. At first I thought she might sound too mature in the way she talks and she probably is for most teenagers, but she sounds a lot like my youngest daughter. Old and young at the same time. Maybe a stretch for many girls this age but by my own experience not impossibly so. Great job!
02/21/11
Very creative entry. Well done.
02/21/11
You entered a teenager's mind brilliantly - I think many of us will identify - either with our own experience, memories or as a parent! Well done. Great writing.
02/21/11
Was that "kaleidescope" or shoul it be 'Collide"-escope? I love how you have captured - or at least cornered - the everywhere at once nature of a teenage thought process. Loved the gentle humour as well.
Your take on this was wonderful. I did a similar story about a boy not wanting to grow up. 18 is such a difficult age. It feels like you're hanging in limbo between child and adult. I love had you used the stuffed zebra, it was a great symbol.
02/21/11
I liked the view into Halle's mind here. There was a lot left unresolved in this story, which I both liked and disliked. As a not-so-long-ago college student myself, I relate to the grown-up but still a kid feeling. Nicely done.
Congratulations for placing 9th in level 3 and 27th overall!