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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Flowers (10/03/05)

TITLE: The Rose Among the Thorns
By Dixie Phillips
10/07/05


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“I wish you’d never been born!” the drunken father hissed, as he slapped his son sharply across the face.

“Father, you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it! You have been nothing but trouble to me since the day you were born. You are always in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Hot tears strung the young man’s eyes. He tightly clenched his tattered coat, as he huddled in a dark corner.

**

“Lavi, how did you get that black eye?” Mary asked.

“I fell and bumped it.” Lavi lied to his best friend.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Come and see Papa’s roses. They will make you feel better. Papa always says that life is like roses, full of beauty and full or thorns.”

“My life is nothing but thorns!”

“Lavi, I know who can help you – Jesus of Nazareth! Papa says He has helped so many.”

“No one can help me, Mary. My father is right I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have never even seen this Jesus of Nazareth, and if I did He would never want anything to do with the likes of someone like me.”

Lavi left Mary standing in her rose garden. Hunger pangs began to gnaw at his sunken stomach. He headed toward the marketplace hoping to find something to eat.

**

The marketplace was humming with activity. Lavi spotted a loaf of freshly baked bread. As he had done so many times before, he began to scheme how he could steal “just one loaf.” When the merchant wasn’t looking, Lavi quickly stuffed a loaf of bread in his pocket.

A scream pierced through the crowd. “Thief! Thief! Stop Him!”

Lavi fled as his heart pounded wildly, as he ran through the crowd. A giant of a man tackled him.

“Where are you going, Thief?”

Lavi stuttered, “Nnnno where, I guess!”

“Oh, you are going somewhere alright! You are going to the dungeon.”

An elderly woman’s shrill voice echoed, “That’s the same fellow who stole my chickens.”

The giant man bellowed, “There’s only one thing to do with thieves, they must be crucified.”

Lavi fainted in sheer terror.

**

Lavi looked around the dark dungeon. He was haunted by painful memories of his childhood days. Anguishing thoughts flooded his cell. He cried out in agony, “Oh, God of Abraham, everything in my life is so wrong. I was born to a man who doesn’t want me. I’ve lived wrong. And tomorrow I am going to be crucified so it looks as if I will finish wrong, too. Please help me.”

Lavi’s prayer was interrupted by the sound of keys clinking against the iron door. Looking up he saw a familiar face.

“Mary, how did you know?” he asked.

“Papa told me. He saw them arrest you. I’ve brought you something.”

Mary held up a hand-woven basket filled with beautiful roses and two loaves of bread.

“I thought you might be hungry.” She added, “Lavi, Jesus has been arrested. They are crucifying him tomorrow.”

“What did He do?”

“He is being falsely accused. Maybe He can help you.”

“How can He help me when He can’t even help Himself?” Lavi scoffed.

“He can help you, Lavi. Papa says He not only heals broken bodies, but He heals broken hearts, too.” Mary slipped a single rose from the basket and placed it in Lavi’s trembling hands. “Jesus can give you beauty among thorns.”

“Your time is up!” the guard barked.

Mary pleaded, “Lavi, you must promise me if you see Jesus you will speak to Him.”

Lavi promised, “I will, Mary. I will.”

**

Staring at the basket of roses Lavi muttered to himself, “Mary says life is like roses, full of beauty and full of thorns. She says that this Jesus can give me beauty among thorns.” Tightly shutting his eyes he choked, “Please… Somehow let me see beauty among thorns.”

**

Lavi moaned and writhed in pain as he hung on the cross. He heard the man beside him cry out, “I thirst.”

Lavi lifted his eyes and saw Jesus gazing back at him. Waves of love swept over Lavi. His heart burned within his chest. Lavi saw the crown of thorns on Jesus’ head.

“Beauty among thorns!” he whimpered.

Just then Jesus cried out to Lavi, “Today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Lavi looked toward Heaven and triumphantly exclaimed, “Finally, at last, I am in the right place at the right time!”


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This article has been read 1204 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Garnet Miller 10/10/05
Wow! This is a powerful piece! I didn't know where it was going at first, but once it became clear, I couldn't stop reading. Excellent.
Beth Muehlhausen10/10/05
Good job identifying personally with the thief - "the" thief who turned out to be an example of surrender. A well done piece!
Gabrielle Morgan10/11/05
Good work! A compelling opening, I wanted to read to the end. I thought it was interesting that it was set at the time of Jesus. It illustrated that without the father's love the boy was pressured into crime.
Tammy Johnson10/12/05
Very beautiful piece. There is a depth to it that draws you in and keeps you riveted. Great insight into the possible background of the thief - makes the story so real and so close to now. Thank you.
Suzanne R10/13/05
What an ingenious way of weaving in the flower theme and telling such a touching story. And the imagery of Jesus as the rose and the crown of thorns and ... wow!
Lynda Lee Schab 10/14/05
I love the surprise of finding out Lavi's identity. Captivating biblical fiction. Had me hanging on til the end.
Great writing!
Blessings, Lynda
Val Clark10/15/05
Liked the way you followed the theme of wrong place and time through to the end. Interesting point of view. Really got into the character and circumstances behind the thief on the cross. Well done.
J. C. Lamont10/15/05
Very cool. I loved the line about the crown of thorns.
Debbie Sickler10/15/05
I enjoyed reading the thief's background and this was well done.

There was one typo when she invited him to see papa's garden. Should have been of, not or. :)

And the mention of him stealing the lady's chickens was good to establish his history, but maybe a different animal? A chicken just westernized it to me and pulled me out of the story a little. Maybe try doves or something else mentioned in the bible? Other than that, great job!
Cassie Memmer10/15/05
You have humanized the thief on the cross. Made him a real person to us. Good job!
Julianne Jones10/16/05
Interesting and original take on the topic. Well done.
dub W10/16/05
Original and well done, a near masterful job.
Crista Darr10/16/05
"Beauty among thorns!" Fantastic work and great use of dialogue.
Karen Treharne10/17/05
This is an awesome interpretation, Dixie. An enjoyable read about the thief who loved Jesus and died in His grace. An amazing tribute to the incredible beauty of God's love. May He continue to bless you in your writing. Congratulations on your win. Love in His name, Karen
Deborah Porter 10/17/05
Dixie, congratulations on your 3rd place win in the Editors' Choice. It's always wonderful to see you in the winner's circle! Love always, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Karen Ward10/17/05
Wow! I didn't get to this last week, but I'm glad you are in the winner's circle, it was fantastic. I love fiction set around Bible stories, thanks so much for this piece!
D. Phenes10/23/05
How wonderful dixie, By personalizing the thief it made the crucifiction story so real... Thanks


   
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