The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/27/11
Oh, wow. This broke my heart. What a well-written but heart-wrenching piece.
So sad. Your descriptions were gripping -- kept my attention from beginning to end. I was sad to see your MC give in to despair (bottle of pills) instead of seeking comfort from the Lord. You portrayed the emotional struggle very well. Keep writing.
Excellent contrast between the happy days and those that followed. You showed well the emotions of the mother. So sad!
02/01/11
So much depth of emotion so few words. Your minimal style was perfect for this piece. Heart-rending, but lovely.
02/01/11
There is an abundance of truly sad stories this week. You did an excellent job. Lots of emotions are stirred.
02/02/11
The last sentence of the first paragraph is so raw and real.

The image of "time swallowing hope" is wow!

You did an excellent job here. It would be easy to over-do this story, but you didn't do that. Nice job.
02/02/11
What a heartbreaking story. Extremely well done. Thank you.
02/02/11
Heartwrenching, raw, real, palpable despair. And terrible to realize that people are living in similar nightmares, at this moment. Well done.
Mona, my dear FW friend, this was outstanding! I was pure jeallous of your opening and closing lines; sin or not. But I have repented. WHAT A STORY. What skill to present your passion so masterfully. A familiar voice, to me (Scary), perfect for this story and delivered so real and honestly. I wish I had an award I could pin on this. But just know how sincere I am when I say how impressed I am. It wasn't a happy, cheery story; but life isn't always that way. I pray this story saves lives. It is annointed.