The Official Writing Challenge
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01/27/11
A clever talk on the well known story, full of believable tension
01/28/11
Excellent writing and message. Perfect on the title!
You brought a familiar story to like with skillful writing. I enjoyed every word.
01/31/11
The relationship between the brothers has always been the one of the fascinating parts of the Prodigal story to me. I really like this interaction between the borthers and the last line is perfect.
02/01/11
I love how you gave us more to the story of the prodigal son. Excellent job, especially since you said it was your first draft:)

By the way, I had to look up bovine to figure out your hint. lol
02/01/11
I wish my first drafts were as good as this...then I wouldn't spend a ridiculous number of hours editing (and re-editing) them! ;-) Great depiction of the interaction between the brothers in the "story after the story". I enjoyed this!
Great title and I really enjoyed the interaction with the brothers. Plus the fact that it wasn't all sweetness at the end--made it very real as it could have actually went down that way. As always, great job (even for a 'rough draft').
Wow - I love your spin on the prodigal son. You made the characters 3-D. First draft? I can't wait to see it after you polish it up. I think you did a great job. One of my favorites.
02/02/11
I hate that this is your first draft. Yes. That's me being super jealous. :)

I really got involved in this story. You conveyed the time period through your words. Nice. Very well done!

One thing I would suggest is drop the dialogue tages "reported" "hissed" "retorted"

Also, I would have ended the sentence at "loosened ever so slightly."

2 cents opinion.

Awesome writer you!

02/02/11
We 'slap' each other so much even in the best of Christian circles. The line "not all of us are accustomed to pig slop" reveals so much of a hardened heart.
Do I look askance at my fellow brothers and sisters and judge them for their past? I wish I could say no. I love the heart of the father who is still rejoicing.
Great lesson here. Excellent writing.
Mona
I really enjoyed this rendition of the Prodigal Son. You made the Characters so real and the bickering really showed the tension between the boys.

As for the red ink, the only thing I Puzzled over was the first insult from the younger brother. I know he was referring to the donkey, but I had to stop and reread it several times and I still didn't understand what he meant, but that could be just me.

The rest was perfectly clear and a pleasure to read.
02/02/11
You've offered a very realistic rendition of the two brothers' lives . . . after the prodigal's return. I particularly enjoy the zest and joy SHOWN by the character Jeriah . . . his gratitude and willingness to work. Wonderful work, as always.
Congratulations on placing in EC with this wonderful story of "the rest of the story in the Bible." Your characters were real, and the situation very believable.
An EC for Rachel!!! Great job and superb writing. Congrats.
03/17/11
A few weeks late, I have just read this! It's wonderful, beautifully written, every line of it, and particularly the ending. Just excellent.