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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Season(s) of a year or life (01/13/11)

TITLE: Wedlock the Bedrock
By Colin Swann


Spouses' Springtime

Honeymoon blues
Sex – that's all he thinks about – think I'm getting a headache.
Now I know why she made me wait – she's frigid!

I'm missing Mum already.
I'll phone dad later, see if he got my car sorted.

First meal cooked
He didn't seem to enjoy it that much but I have a diploma in cooking so what's with him.
Burnt sausages and cold spuds – yucky! She said she could cook.

Early trials
I'm sorry Lord; I never thought I'd pull his hair. Help me to bear his annoying behaviour.
Why can't she put make-up on for when I come home from the office? First class dowdy!

I wish he wouldn't keep moving my pans around – Dad never messed Mum's kitchen up.
If she doesn't come up to scratch with my shirts I'm taking them to Mum's.

This was delicious my Precious! Even better than Mum's curry.
I'm not telling, but it is your Mum's recipe!

Happy Valentine Darling – I just love this place – my favourite Italian!
Mmm, she looks wonderful tonight, can't wait for the afters!

Spouses' Summertime

Becoming a Family
I'm pregnant – I'm so happy! We can get the nursery ready! Thank you Lord!
Someone to play footer with – must fetch my fishing rods over from Dad's.

Baby's crying Darling, it's your turn – I've been to her twice already.
She responds better to the female touch. OK! OK!

I'm on my way to the office Sweetheart – icy roads – be careful on the school run.
You too! Have a nice day! BYE!

Where are all the bills coming from? Wished she'd cut back on her spending.
Wait Darling, I'm having a real job finding a suitable dress - my wardrobe seems empty.

Adjustment requirements
The pair of them get on my nerves when they're home from school – falling out!
Remember we're having a male-away at the cabin next weekend – girly-time at home!
Night, night – you haven't told me you love me today.
Love you, love you, love you – mmm, that's nice!

Spouses' Autumn Time

Maturity - almost
They're getting later Darling – they'll soon be staying out all night – you'll have to talk to them both.
They'll be at university soon, then our worries will be over.

Oh no! My two little loves flying the nest!
Hope they can make it before any unwanted pregnancies.

Beginning of ageing
I'm having my hair tinted – I'm salt and peppering – have you noticed?
No Darling!

I bet he has!
Wonder if she's noticed my comb over.

Family times
Darling the kids want out of holidaying with us this year – they think they're too old.
I'll talk to them.

We've not seen much of our children on this holiday.
Never satisfied! Children – they're adults! Surely their last holiday with us!

I love Christmas – a wonderful family time together.
Looking forward to Mum's at the New Year – her sherry trifle – not had any since last New Year.

Spouses' Wintertime

Flown the nest
I think I'm going to take up an art class – I was always good at drawing.
Golfing, golfing here I come!

What's with all these holiday brochures everywhere?
Life's getting boring Darling – I need a break from being a redundant mother.

Is that the best they could do for you after forty years' service – a gold plated watch?
The pension deal I negotiated was better than we both expected, and no watch can replace this one you bought me Sweetheart!

Body burnout
I wish he would stop trying to talk to me when I'm in another room.
Why won't she have a hearing aid?

Darling, will you give me a massage tonight? The old back's killing me! We need to downsize - the garden's too big.
Bad back! He looks as though he could do with liposuction on those love handles.

Old age treats
I wish they'd bring our grandson over to see us more.
They live at the other side of the country Darling. (Oh dear, I'll be pumping the accelerator pedals again).

The beginning of the end
I think we should do the modern thing and pre-arrange our funeral.
Ok! (Maybe we could get a better deal for booking early).

Darling lets drop this talk, life's too short!

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This article has been read 777 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 01/20/11
I enjoyed their progression through life's season… You brought many smiles. This is extremely creative!
Connie Dixon01/21/11
This was a fun entry, I could picture myself in almost all of the seasons. Good job!
Rachel Phelps01/22/11
AWhat a fun step through the life of a couple. Nice lesson on sticking together even when things aren't perfect.
Laury Hubrich 01/22/11
Very creative. It's fun looking into how the two think differently but stick it out through it all. Nice job:)
Virgil Youngblood 01/22/11
Through thick and thin from beginning to end, you have entertained us for sure.
Brenda Rice 01/22/11
Left Brain, Right Brain all the way through. Good take on the topic and oh, so creative. The humor is great.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/22/11
I enjoyed this journey through wedded bliss.You have a great sense of humor. There were times when I had to reread it to see if it was the male or female.I did get a nice chuckle out of it.
Carol Slider 01/23/11
This was a lot of fun to read, and so true. "For better or for worse," indeed! Enjoyed it!
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/24/11
I enjoyed watching your spouses progress through life--almost knew what was coming each time--been there!
Edmond Ng 01/26/11
I like the last line best. Life's certainly too short for us to think too far or for us to talk too much about it. An interesting approach on the topic.
Gregory Kane01/27/11
Congrats on your commendation. I love your gentle and perceptive humour