Sex that's all he thinks about think I'm getting a headache.
Now I know why she made me wait she's frigid!
I'm missing Mum already.
I'll phone dad later, see if he got my car sorted.
First meal cooked
He didn't seem to enjoy it that much but I have a diploma in cooking so what's with him.
Burnt sausages and cold spuds yucky! She said she could cook.
I'm sorry Lord; I never thought I'd pull his hair. Help me to bear his annoying behaviour.
Why can't she put make-up on for when I come home from the office? First class dowdy!
I wish he wouldn't keep moving my pans around Dad never messed Mum's kitchen up.
If she doesn't come up to scratch with my shirts I'm taking them to Mum's.
This was delicious my Precious! Even better than Mum's curry.
I'm not telling, but it is your Mum's recipe!
Happy Valentine Darling I just love this place my favourite Italian!
Mmm, she looks wonderful tonight, can't wait for the afters!
Becoming a Family
I'm pregnant I'm so happy! We can get the nursery ready! Thank you Lord!
Someone to play footer with must fetch my fishing rods over from Dad's.
Baby's crying Darling, it's your turn I've been to her twice already.
She responds better to the female touch. OK! OK!
I'm on my way to the office Sweetheart icy roads be careful on the school run.
You too! Have a nice day! BYE!
Where are all the bills coming from? Wished she'd cut back on her spending.
Wait Darling, I'm having a real job finding a suitable dress - my wardrobe seems empty.
The pair of them get on my nerves when they're home from school falling out!
Remember we're having a male-away at the cabin next weekend girly-time at home!
Night, night you haven't told me you love me today.
Love you, love you, love you mmm, that's nice!
Spouses' Autumn Time
Maturity - almost
They're getting later Darling they'll soon be staying out all night you'll have to talk to them both.
They'll be at university soon, then our worries will be over.
Oh no! My two little loves flying the nest!
Hope they can make it before any unwanted pregnancies.
Beginning of ageing
I'm having my hair tinted I'm salt and peppering have you noticed?
I bet he has!
Wonder if she's noticed my comb over.
Darling the kids want out of holidaying with us this year they think they're too old.
I'll talk to them.
We've not seen much of our children on this holiday.
Never satisfied! Children they're adults! Surely their last holiday with us!
I love Christmas a wonderful family time together.
Looking forward to Mum's at the New Year her sherry trifle not had any since last New Year.
Flown the nest
I think I'm going to take up an art class I was always good at drawing.
Golfing, golfing here I come!
What's with all these holiday brochures everywhere?
Life's getting boring Darling I need a break from being a redundant mother.
Is that the best they could do for you after forty years' service a gold plated watch?
The pension deal I negotiated was better than we both expected, and no watch can replace this one you bought me Sweetheart!
I wish he would stop trying to talk to me when I'm in another room.
Why won't she have a hearing aid?
Darling, will you give me a massage tonight? The old back's killing me! We need to downsize - the garden's too big.
Bad back! He looks as though he could do with liposuction on those love handles.
Old age treats
I wish they'd bring our grandson over to see us more.
They live at the other side of the country Darling. (Oh dear, I'll be pumping the accelerator pedals again).
The beginning of the end
I think we should do the modern thing and pre-arrange our funeral.
Ok! (Maybe we could get a better deal for booking early).
Darling lets drop this talk, life's too short!
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