Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Season(s) of a year or life (01/13/11)

TITLE: Rendering Twilight
By Jesus Puppy
01/17/11


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The first of days ever fell
And burned in glory's fire deep.
Raising nigh the sunset time
For moments that long to weep.
A cooling breeze drifted by
And stirred the foliage of green.
Blooms of color mixed in airs
That swirled in the tides unseen.
Drifting vapors, floating clouds
Passed heated sun rays high.
Hearts ablaze in beauty felt
Of the sky that renders night.

Stars in the void appearing
In the dimming twilight hour
The Creator's tear saddened
By thoughts of crumbled tower.
Seasons turn in a moment
To a broken stone let ring
The eye unfocused drifts passed
Destroyed tomb of future's king.
Standing still in the garden
He wept for his children's fall
The path of life's temptations
And love's soft words as he calls.

Anger mixed well in sorrow
Hearing lies in words unveiled
Judgement placed for sin given
Clouding love at once that failed.
In shame his child departing
With fear the telling power
The sun's last rays extinguished
Rendering twilight's last hour.
In blood their day was ended
With skins nakedness covered
Darkness took them by the hand
Man and his cast out lover.

Through watered lids times are seen
As God's visions rise and fall.
Man drifts through seasons passing
And gather in cities tall.
Quarried stone heaped like mountains
For walls of strong castles made.
Valleys burn in ashes deep
Where trees of forest green laid.
Reckless wars on his neighbor
Plundering gold in his greed
Little made of love's blessing
Not a thought of souls in need.

The Son wept at man's folly
As future visions unfold
Forms the plan filled with sorrow
Blood stained tree in action bold.
Worthy king the sacrifice
Innocence to die for sin
Hope filled love for worthless deed
Great mercy for fallen men.
Blood soaked beam on cross lifted
Nail scarred pain in hands and feet.
Crown of thorns his skull inflamed
Yet Father's will he would meet.

The Child-King once more beheld
The great work formed by his hand.
What joy in his creation
Yet dark were the ways of man.
From beauty's bloom in Eden
Blessed of the day rejoicing
To the serpent's gleeful laugh
At man in flames repenting.
On himself he to the pain
The burden of sin filled man.
To him the crime was added
Yet he fulfilled mercies plan.

Above all things he was raised
For all creation to see
The world captive in darkness
Light of God's love came to free.
The task was just beginning
With visions so long ago
Man fell and in shame cast out
The Lamb's blood kept them close.
Onward from the garden path
The years and seasons tell
Sunset of days remembered
As rendering twilight fell.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 507 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 01/20/11
I especially like this, "Hearts ablaze in beauty felt of the sky that renders night." Your message is moving…. "The Son wept at man's folly.." Very nice work!
Brenda Rice 01/21/11
I rarely comment on poems, although I like them very much. I don't feel I know enough to even comment. But this one is very good. Thanks for sharing.
Rachel Phelps01/22/11
Really great. I'm another one of those that never knows what to say about poetry because I'm so locked in prose - but this was a delightful, moving read.
Henry Clemmons01/22/11
I really enjoy a well written poem that can be read aloud and savoured. Some great lines, very melodic, and ministered as well. My only critiqe is some small words like "that" and others with no image could be cut out in favor of another. But, this poem flowed well and I can feel the passion it presents. Great job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/22/11
Wow , this is so beautiful I have tears in my eyes. I suspect the Lord Himself may have shed a tear or two over the beauty and the truth of this truly Splendid piece.
AnneRene' Capp 01/23/11
OH my goodness, this is exquisitely capturing! I had to restrain myself from wanting to read faster, hurriedly wanting to read what was next. I wanted to savor every morsel. Truly outstanding!

Shelley Ledfors 01/23/11
As others have said, I am not a poet and don't often comment on poetry, but do know that this was beautiful and touching and I enjoyed it very much!
Carol Slider 01/23/11
This is a lovely poem to read--so many strong images that convey so well the great story of sin and redemption. Enjoyed it very much!
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/24/11
God's love came through so clearly in your poem. There were so many lines to pause over and revel in. Several of my favorites: Seasons turn in a moment...From beauty's bloom in Egypt. You saved the best two lines for last.
Karen Pourbabaee 01/25/11
Your verse read like music set to vivid images. "Standing still in the garden. He wept for His children's fall," especially touched me. Awesome work.