The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Good story and it fit the topic very well. It would be easier to read if you put a double space between your paragraphs though.
awwww this made me cry. so sad for the young lady to find her mother but it was to late. You told the story so well that what could have been a rather melodramtic plot did not seem too contrived. I do not think it needed the jump forward 20 years at the end though.
I enjoyed the story quite a bit. I felt disdain for the mother for giving up her daughter to pursue her dreams. I almost wish you had ended it at the casket rather than having the daughter become a star. It seemed too perfect an ending. But it is a sweet story. You did a great job showing the girl's anxiety as she was searching for her mother. Congratulations for placing 14th in level three.