The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 539 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I liked the interaction between the MC and Grandpa and could picture everyone sitting aruond the table. Kind of reminded me of a scene from the Griswald's Christmas movie. I was a little confused towards the end but think I figured it out. Nice story!
I really liked this phrase: "...the celebration feels as if it has been crammed into the corners of a room too small to contain it."

Nicely done expression of the MC's inner workings.

One thing that distracted me a bit as I read was there seemed to be some confusion about which tense to be in.

01/15/11
You could feel the love, despite the usual family irritations and frustrations. I like the ending!
I LOVE the dialog and I love the honesty with which it was written, the good things and the flaws in the group! Very well done indeed!
01/15/11
There's so much emotion here, and I could really sense how much she cares about her grandfather. I loved how this experience also made her aware that prayer should be meaningful. A loving portrait of a family!
01/17/11
wooooooo a winner for me! lets hope the judges agree :-)
well what can i say that is constructive ? such a delightful piece and full of humour, suspense,relevance, great character descriptions, engaging, original and we were all sitting on those hard backed chairs with the MC.
As i read it reminded me of "catcher in the rye" just in the way of the childs eye view of the world...
if the judges dont put this one in the winners i will be amazed!!!
Good story. I loved the internal dialogue. Also, I appreciated not actually hearing the blessing, a bit of unresolved tension that worked nicely. Well done.
Your details of Gramps were spectacular. I found myself holding my breath. Great job. Congratulations on placing Isth in level three!