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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Once in a Blue Moon (01/06/11)

TITLE: Called On Account of Snow
By Glynis Becker
01/11/11


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“Danny,” a voice whispered in his ear. “Come on, you gotta see this! Danny!” The whispering increased in volume, joined by an incessant shoulder shake, until Danny wiped his eyes and lifted his head from the pillow.

“What is it?” He demanded. “Some of us are sleeping here.” His little brother, Will, grabbed Danny's arm and pulled him out from under the covers. The tiles on the floor were colder than usual, and Danny hopped from one foot to the other as he was yanked toward the window.

“Isn't this the coolest? Look!” He pointed and in the glow from the street lamp, Danny understood Will's excitement. Snow. Inches of it.

It hadn't snowed in years. Will was six years old and Danny was pretty sure there hadn't been any snow in all that time. “Will we have to go to school, Danny? Can you help me build a snowman? I've always wanted to build my own snowman. Do we have any carrots? Snowmen have to have a carrot for their noses--”

“Hold on a minute.” Danny looked at the clock. “Mom's going to wake us up for school in a half-hour. Why don't you go back to bed and wait for her to tell us if school is canceled or not?”

“Can't I stay here with you? I'm too excited to go to bed!” He started jumping up and down on his knees. Well, not really jumping, more like bouncing.. If he wasn't on his feet, then he wasn't “jumping” was he? It was worth the risk. He just couldn't be still. Not with all that snow outside!

“Alright. Get in.” He lifted the cover so Will could crawl in. “But don't tell anybody I let you do this. The guys will think I'm a complete dork, so not a word, you got it?” Danny played the cool, tough guy part, but inside he was excited too. Twelve-year-olds could enjoy a day off from school, but if one admitted to wanting to make a snow angel...well, you could kiss your reputation goodbye, that's for sure.

“Now what, Danny?”

“Now, we turn on the radio and listen for the announcement.” Danny turned on his clock radio. “But I can't do that if you keep talking, so button it up, will you?”

Will was silent through the traffic report, and the commercial for the Martin & Grumble Law Firm, but as soon as the announcer started the school list, he just couldn't be still. “Did they say 'Lincoln' yet? I just know we're going--”

“Shh! I can't hear.” They were up to Harding and Hoover, so he wanted to make sure he didn't miss it. The voice continued with “Kennedy, Linc--”

The boys let out a yell and both jumped out of bed, tumbling in a tangle of sheets and blankets. What would they do with a whole day off? This kind of unexpected treat didn't come along every day. They had to make the most of it.

“Don't forget to put on some hats and gloves!” Mom called out. “There should be some in the back of the closet.” Danny started rummaging and found an old stocking cap and pair of worn out gloves for himself, and some ear muffs and mittens for Will.

“And zip up! You don't want to catch your death out there!” Will and Danny zipped up their coats, pulled on their shoes and headed out.

One step and Will's feet gave out from under him. He landed on his back staring up at Danny. “Ouch. That wasn't what I expected.” Danny held out a hand and pulled him up.

“Ready to make a snowman?” They started pulling up snow into a ball. Turns out the “inches” of snow really were only a dusting. It took an hour to get enough snow from all over the yard to scoop into enough ball for a small snowman.

“This is hard work,” Will said sitting the wet grass, panting. “And my hands are cold.” He sniffed. “And I think my snot froze.” He stood up. “I don't like it. I'm going in.”

He hopped to his feet and without a backward glance went into the house. Now what was he supposed to do all day? “Mom, I'm bored!”


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This article has been read 329 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 01/15/11
There's nothing better than a snow day off from school! I still get to experience those and get as excited as the kids do:) I like these two brothers. You made them real characters.
Brenda Rice 01/16/11
I like your snowman story and your two brothers very much. Your dialog is real and I could see it all happening. Good job.
Henry Clemmons01/17/11
Nice cute tale that reminded me of my childhood some, except it snowed all the time. I enjoyed it and always loved a snow day.
Loren T. Lowery01/17/11
So believable. The voices of your mc'w were right on and their excitement for their adventure, contagious. And the ending, well, having kids and being one myself once - it was perfect! Great job!
Noel Mitaxa 01/17/11
I enjoyed the energy and sense of anticipation of the younger guy, and the way his older brother - who felt supercool without any snow - let down his guard to enjoy the day off.
I also think your ending was right in target.
Sarah Heywood01/17/11
Oh, I enjoyed this a lot! Your dialogue was really believable and you caught the boys' excitement so well! Your ending was so kid-typical, as well - I'm guessing you must be a parent! Great job!
Kate Oliver Webb01/17/11
Very well done. I'm not really sure, but I think I've experienced the same incredible sensation of joyful expectation and then, when I'm just into the event, I wonder if the best part of it isn't the joyful anticipation itself? Adults are probably kid-like in that, as well, and we don't like to admit it!
Mariane Holbrook01/18/11
You're very skilled at writing dialog! Kudos on this entry!
Edmond Ng 01/19/11
Nicely written piece with well-expressed emotions I can feel within the story, showing the excitement of Will and Danny! Excellent job!
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/19/11
I enjoyed your glimpse into family life on a snowday.(It was just as fun for the teachers.) You "showed" your characters very well.