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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Once in a Blue Moon (01/06/11)

TITLE: Sour Notes
By Kristi Peifer
01/08/11


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“Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just enjoyed the sleek sounds of Smooth Cat Slick! Let’s give it up for these four!”

The audience roared with applause as the quartet took their bows and headed offstage.

“That was awesome!” Jake said, slapping Frankie a high-five. Jake, ever the jazz enthusiast, lived for these competitions.

“Yeah, except for those sour notes in the last set,” Gina pointed out.

“Wasn’t me!” Jake said. “Kelly?”

Gina shook her head. “Nah. Not Kelly. It wasn’t in the soprano line.”

Quietly Kelly offered, “I think Frankie did it.”

“Me?”

Gina crossed her arms. “Yeah, Frankie, you.”

“Man, Gina, you’re harshing my mellow! You know I never goof up!”

“Never?”

“OK, not counting that time in Sanger. That was it.”

“Frankie!” Gina was practically scowling by now. “I distinctly heard four notes off in that set!”

“I’m telling you, I didn’t do it!”

“Not even once? C’mon, Frankie, fess up,” Jake cajoled, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

“Well…”

Gina looked down her nose at Frankie, sizing up his sincerity. She cleared her throat, attempting to sound authoritative.

“OK, OK! I may have messed up a little, but not four notes! Maybe once—in, uh, ‘Blue Moon.’”


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This article has been read 355 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Noel Mitaxa 01/14/11
Very clever rug-puller to close. Well done.
diana kay01/15/11
a funny conversation I could picture the characters all denying their role in the " sour notes"
Brenda Rice 01/15/11
Your dialog is believable and your story has plenty of tension as well as humor. Good job.
Sarah Heywood01/17/11
Very, very clever! I enjoyed this greatly!
Henry Clemmons01/17/11
Enjoyed this clever, jazzy tale. Very nicely done.
Glynis Becker 01/17/11
Clever, fun, and I loved the snappy dialogue. Great entry!
Kate Oliver Webb01/17/11
So cleverly done, the final line surprised me. Nicely written.
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/19/11
Good dialogue--I felt like I was eavesdropping.
Lollie Hofer 01/19/11
Ah, clever with an I-didn't-see-it-coming punch line.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/19/11
This was a cute play of words on the topic and left me with a smile.