The Official Writing Challenge
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12/23/10
Oh, wow - how incredible! I was really swept up into this story. Your MC told it so well and with an authentic tone. I didn't see the ending coming as it did and it just horrified me. At the same time, it was written very realistically. I'd love to know how these hard, hard experiences shape the MC as he grows into manhood. Great writing!
You pulled me into the story. What a sad place to end. I'm not sure exactly how this fits the topic, but maybe I just missed it. At any rate, great story, showing the trials of those brave enough to come out west.
12/26/10
An exciting read! You've paced your story very well to have your readers follow the deaf beats of the heart, leaving them wanting for more.
Great story, but pretty depressing. Well told, great flow; you kept my interest throughout.

I'm ready for the next chapter.
Oh my! Such a cliffhanger -- next chapter please.
Awesome historical fiction--perfect in detail. Your introductory line shows the relationship to the topic.
12/27/10
Very descriptive and evocative, yet restrained, word pictures of unbeliveably (to our day)harsh times. You need to offer us the next chapters, because you've already got customers clamoring for this prologue...
Intense - a real page turner - Wish it were allowed more than 750 words as I would have kept reading. You set up everything to keep it moving; and if it were to be a prologue to a larger story about what shaped the MC's outlook on life, then you have succeeded beautifully.
12/29/10
A good title and lots of action going on here. You captured some realistic moments in this difficult experience for such a young man.
Wow. Intense. Very well written. Held my interest the entire way and left me wanting more though I got your message. Superb job!
12/29/10
Gripping, suspenseful, and riveting to the last period.
I'd like to know where the communication breakdown comes in. If I read the story correctly, there was no breakdown of communication between the two MCs. Would love to know what I missed.

Still, fabulous writing, great story line too soon aborted by the 750 rule.