The Official Writing Challenge
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12/10/10
Excellent story and concept. Loved the signs. I felt as if the story of Bethany could have been spaced out a bit more and given more impact. Great writing.
Very interesting story with a great message. Good job!
12/10/10
Wow, this took a twist I wasn't expecting. The further I read, the more intense the writing. Good job!
This was exciting and I really enjoyed reading it. You did a great job with a setting that was inviting and spooky at the same time.

The red ink the girl being a ghost was a little expected but I liked that she died between the signs. The other red ink if she was celebrating the Amish running around years would there have been a phone and would she know how to use it or where it was to show your MC

Those are just little details that might make more sense in the light of the day. I am tired while reading this so it's possible my brain is a tad loggy.

I really liked the setting of the story. I felt spooked right from the beginning. I also liked how she knew it was pride that her feet were cold. You had a lot of little messages like that throughout the story. You did a great job with this one.
12/11/10
LOVE the end of this - and all the understated stuff. You imply SO much more than you tell - and that takes a LOT of talent.

I was also curious about the phone, and her being a ghost. Both kinda threw me.

Enjoyed the read! Welcome back :)
A good read. My only red ink would be that without being somewhat familiar with the plain people environment, a reader could be confused by some of the details or just totally miss them.
12/15/10
Oh, awesome story, and so well written. It may be an "old" premise, but you approached it well, and you took me by surprise. I especially like the ending.
12/15/10
Wowzers and then some. This was well-written, great mc's voice, superb ending. Even the impact of where her car stalled between the two signs said so much. Incredibly well done.