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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Billboard/Poster/Sign (any or all) (12/02/10)

TITLE: Signs of the Times
By Donna Emery
12/07/10


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Oh, great. Stuck in traffic again. When are they going to finish that stupid construction project? Iím tired of being stuck here at this intersection every afternoon at 5:45. Wish I was home right now, with Jenny and the kids.

Itís not even an interesting intersection. Thereís nothing to look at here except that white church with the big sign. What does it say? Oh, cute:

ďSeven days without church makes one weak.Ē

Cute pun, but hardly conclusive. Thatís just what youíd expect a church to say, isnít it? But I havenít darkened the door of a church for twenty years, and no one can call me weak. Iím head of the sales department at the dealership and top salesman for the last five years; thatís hardly weak.

Finally. The trafficís starting to move. Maybe Iíll get home before dinner is cold.
**********************

Well, well. What a surprise. Itís 5:45 and here I am; at the same intersection. Honestly; I could set my watch by this. What is it about this intersection? I canít imagine people heading in droves to this exit. Nothing here, is there? All I see is that church. Whatís their sign say, this time?

ďHonk If You Love Jesus; Text While Driving If You Want to Meet HimĒ.

Well, at least thatís practical information. But itís hardly going to stop anyone whoís intent on texting. Itís not like texting really distracts me all that much. Gotta text every once in a while or Iíd miss an important sales call.

Oh, whaddya know? Someoneís honking. Do they love Jesus or are they honking at the traffic? I donít know that either reason makes much sense. How does honking show love for Jesus? And why honk at the traffic? Is the honk going to get the cars moving?

Well, wellÖthe traffic is moving. Maybe I should honk, too.
********************

Today the traffic is really heavy. I donít know whatís going on. It started about ten miles ago - but of course it didnít stop cold until my favorite intersection- although itís 5:55 pm, this time. HonestlyÖ here we go again.

So Iím stuck here, again. Looking at the same old church -and the same old sign. Hope their message is better today. What is it?

ďFree Trip to Heaven: Details InsideĒ

Well, isnít that typical? That little church is the only place I can learn how to get to heaven? Why does every rinkydink church think theyíve got the one and only plan for heaven? How come theyíre so sure?

Thatís the trouble with churches today: so many denominations and they all think theyíve got the only ticket. Just like the dealership: we have to convince the customer weíve got the best cars and the best deals. Not one of those holy guys is perfect but they still think I should go inside and get the detailsÖ Iíd like to give that pastor a piece of my mindÖ.

Oh, never mind. The trafficís moving again. Itís about time.
*******************

What in the world happened here? Is there some kind of work holiday I didnít hear about? Oh, wowÖI guess they finished the construction. Wow, what an easy ride this is turning out to be. Look at thatÖ Iím whizzing right past that church with the signs Ėand itís only 5:30. Wonder what the sign says today. HmmÖ something about peace.

What a pleasure not to be stuck there. Even their clever signs didnít make it worth the stop. Peace? Iíll just bet. Same malarkey as the details for going to heaven. Iím sure their ďpeaceĒ carries a price tag; donate $100 for the regular variety of peace but for complete peace you gotta pay $250. Yeah, thatís the way Iíd do it. Always a markup Ė just like at the dealership.

I wonder what it said about peace? Iím early, ya know. Maybe I should drive by there and take a peek. Jenny wonít know what hit her; if Iím home before 6. After all, whoeverís putting up those signs deserves a piece of my mind for that last message.

Oh, so thatís what it says: ďNo God Ė No Peace. Know God Ė Know Peace.Ē

So all I need to have peace is to know God? Seems a bit too simple, to me. I think Iíll go in and have a few words with that pastor. Iíll bet heíll have a few words for me, too.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 12/11/10
I enjoyed eavesdropping on your MC's thoughts about these signs--and smiled when he was finally drawn into the church by the last one.
Dolores Stohler12/12/10
Loved your story! It's probably typical of the average American--cynical & scoffing. So glad your driver was thinking about the sign. Good work on this topic.
Virgil Youngblood 12/13/10
Church signs are noticed, that's for sure. I remember one I saw in Arizona in the summertime. It said, You Think Its Hot Here!