The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/11/10
This story sparkles like a bright star in this snowy season. I love the little hint - OMG and the happy ending. The way it's written sounds like it could have really happened. Great job!
12/12/10
You've given your MC a strong, credible voice that captures his inner struggle towards warmth in spite of the extrenal and internal cold. I liked the sign too.
What a touching story. We all have things in our life that shame us. You did a great job in showing such a wonderful message.

Here's a little tiny nit-picking red ink-- when you have the word my or the in front of mom don't capitalize it. You only capitalize it if you are using it as her name. It's like when you wrote my brother:)

Again I want to emphasize what a good job you did with your MC. I felt his pain and shame. Great job!
12/13/10
I liked your story very much. The only thing that seemed a little out of place was when he told his mum he felt ashamed.
Sure, he would feel it but I doubt they would confess it to someone else. Shame is something people tend to hide at all costs.
Your story had a good message.

The mother is a good example of a Christian who knows that we've all messed up and go through our own struggles in life. She didn't make her son feel "ashamed". She welcomed him and accepted him as he was - just like God loves his own children despite our weaknesses.
12/15/10
You did a good job of showing how low your mc had sunk in the depth of his dispair. Isn't it just like God to place a sign in a place where it would have the most impact.