The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/02/10
Very sweet and tender story. I loved the way you described the scened and actions. I could picture the little red head, lip protruding one moment, darting accross the street another.

Very nicely done.
Oh, this is precious! I vividly saw you as that little redheaded girl with blue eyes, run back and forth in that yard and stare into that scary dudes eyes! :)

This truley captured my heart. Also loved how you showed the bartering skills still at work! Really liked that you still have that teddy bear which is now nestled in it's very own special place of honor.
12/05/10
A lovely story bringing to remembrance such wonderful memories of the innocence as a child. You have successfully captured the feelings and moods within the story of the precious times the MC had in reflecting our own. Great job!
12/05/10
That's one tough and grumpy grampa who won't panda to nobody! But this is one seriously well-described episode from childhood. I loved the warmth and innocence that you have conveyed here. Great work.
I shook the words out of my little red head. :o)

Cute story. I enjoyed reading it. Blessings.
You pictured each of these characters so well I could see the story playing out. Terrific! I especially like how you showed the grandfather's character instead of just telling us about it.
12/05/10
Sweet story. Not sure a four year old would know the term barter I'm guessing this was written as an adult or something.
Grandad seemed very stern. Which is very believable. Mine is like that although he's mellowed a lot now. Or maybe it's because I'm not little the Crazy ole man can't push me around verbally anymore lol.
Thanks for bringing up some memories, some bad but mainly good.
12/06/10
I really enjoyed this sweet interesting story. The grandpa's name sounded important! Great writing!
12/06/10
What a beautiful story, sweet and sad all wrapped up into one story. Your imagery was strong and I could see the little girl using her bartering abilities to get that teddy bear. Loved the red curls too. I could see them bounce.
12/09/10
Yay Shann!!! :D Congrats on getting Highly Commended! You deserve it.
12/09/10
Congrats, Shann, on your recognition. I'm glad it did so well cuz' I reeeeaaalllly liked it. :)
12/09/10
Congratulations on your HC that was also a winner in my book! Loved the poignancy in this and couldn't help but think what it cost Jesus because He loved us.
12/09/10
Congratulations on being highly commended. This is a sweet story.
Congrates. Very interesting voice in this piece. The tone and tenor of it drew me in as if under a spell. A good one though. stan
12/09/10
Well done Shann with your placement of HC!
The four-year old redhead reminds me of something my daughter has always done to me through the years - even occasionally as a 15 year old - with the lip (and puppy dog eyes). Congrats on #18 overall and HC.
12/09/10
Congratulations, Shann. This story is so precious. Who could have resisted this red-haired, well-rehearsed doll named Shann? Great job!
12/11/10
Wow Shann! Congratulations on your HC with this oh-so-tenderly told story! Your writing has always sparkled with so much "heart," but what I see now is great skill and technique as well - you've grown in the last year!
12/18/12
I loved everything about this article! It seemed like a scene in one of those Hallmark movies...so well-written! I think that the grandpa was totally embarrassed and touched at the little girl's being willing to trade something that was, obviously, important to her. Perhaps, he also was touched that she wanted the bear that had meant something to him when he was young. I think there was significant tenderness below that gruff exterior, and this really brings that out with his reaction to the trade. It's likely true that he was just trying to send her away and that he didn't realize the depth of her desire for his bear, so to see her appear before him with her own treasure to trade? Must have been really humbling for this adult. How many grandpa's get gruff, when they don't want their own tears to fall? More than we might think, I suspect. In any case, I loved the writing, as well as the story!