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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Body Language (11/25/10)

TITLE: Speak Outside The Box
By Nancy Bucca


(Based on the true story from Numbers chapter 22)

Poor Miss Donkey has been DYING to ask Sir Blamer Cranky Pants for a nice, clean chick flick to replace the trash TV he calls "a steal at only $199 per month."

But the moment she opens her mouth to make her wishes known, a bad case of the "brays" takes over.

She just can't get her skittish words to fit inside his tiny box. Until his asterisked heels spur her to join him in a joy ride down Hangman's Canyon - an edgy film, but far too risqué for her taste.

She'd better do something fast, before they both fall off a cliffhanger to a really nasty ending. Which may be far worse than he's willing to admit.

For though his lips say, "Relax, I just want a peek,"

His stiff neck says, "I'm not budging until it's done."

Something tells her that the only way to change this curse to free verse is to


The credits roll inside the rectangle. It won't be long before...

"Whoa!" cry Miss Donkey's startled eyes. "Who's that shiny guy with the big exclamation point in his hand - the one that's got "don't mess with me" written all over his forehead? He's filling the screen, And he looks really mad."

"I know exactly what you mean," says her skipping heart. "We'd better bolt."

"On it!" say her eager legs, giving her hooves the fluency they need to jump the language hurdle.

Her movements convey what her bray fails to say, as she clears the circle of her smack-talking mule's Merry-Go-Round and gallops into Free Speech country.

Yee hah!

Miss Donkey's lively dance calls Blamer a fool. Her singing bones strike quite a vocal chord. "Get back on the path!" he screams. "You're going the wrong - "

Grip lost, he sails into a briar patch.

Where he spends ten minutes clawing through tangled wires, groping for his lost treasure.

Ah! There it is at last - the golden clicker! With a greedy hand he grabs it and uses it to beat Miss Donkey black and blue, until she's read all over.

Half an hour later he's got her squeezed between a rock and a hard place without any wiggle room.

"Try talking yourself out of this one, girlfriend."

Zoom! In a flash Mister Shiny reappears with yet another bright idea to help her



Why, if she hasn't smashed her master's foot against a wall socket! He's hopping on his good leg now, fit to be tied. His jumpy toes bounce giggles on my funny bone.

Heehaw, what a riot!

But the humor doesn't last long. To punish Miss Donkey for making fun of him, Blamer lays the law down on her back. It weighs a ton - almost as much as him. No wonder she has such a hard time climbing up that hill! In the end she crumbles underneath the couch potato like a pair of stone tablets dropped from Moses' hands.

As Mister Shiny brings the film to its long awaited climax, her nimble fingers break the


of costly perfume and


A flood of tears tumbles down her cheeks. Cheeks she turned to try to turn that dead abuse-aholic from his folly.

She wipes them with her ponytail, fanning the air with smells of mercy mixed with grace,

Even as an invisible, nail-pierced hand reaches down from above. Its deep, rich voice


freeing Miss Donkey's tongue, and releasing

an unexpected flow of people speak from her mouth.

I've never seen anything like it in my life.

Dumbstruck, Blamer's mouth pops open.

"Tada!" Onto his mental silver screen Mister Shiny Angel Wings appears in a brilliant flash of color. Using his tongue as a sharp two-edged sword to carry on a little behind-the-woodshed tête-à-tête,

The mighty angel brings this tale to a totally awesome conclusion

In which Blamer gets a well-deserved whoop-in' and is forced to join Miss Donkey for a nice, wholesome Christian film. A nice, LONG Christian film.

Have a seat and pass the sugar lumps.


"Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her." (Matthew 26:13, KJV)

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This article has been read 510 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Gregory Kane12/04/10
Completely OUT of the box!
Troy Manning12/04/10
Very fun! Loved the creative wordplay. Not sure how much of it I deciphered, but that's not especially high on my list of criteria. Sure hope it earns some well-deserved recognition!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/05/10
Your story was out of the box for sure. I liked the little bits of humor along with a nice adaptation of the story. Good job.
Noel Mitaxa 12/05/10
Creative descriptions of the characters and the action, which I feel the rest of us would struggle to e-mule-ate!
Very enjoyable read.
Lollie Hofer 12/06/10
I agree, now this is thinking "outside the box." Quite visual. Shame on ol' Blamer Cranky Pants. Great take on a great Bible story. Well done.
Troy Manning12/09/10
Hi Nancy, I just wanted to say that I think it's a crime this received no "official" recognition. I hope to be Blessings to you!
Troy Manning12/09/10
What I began to say, before so rudely interrupting myself, was, I hope to be seeing more "outside the box" efforts from you in the future. Stories that are both childlike in imagination & adult in stylistic challenge get me nearly every time. :)