BOOMER BLOOMERS SHAKEDOWN
“C’mon now, don’t give me that look! Oh, I know you’re all thinking, Lady, are you kidding me?"
With eyebrows almost touching her forehead, and lips compressed in snide assent, Mariah moved her head up and down as she signaled to the partner on her right.
Ya got that right! Who do you think we are anyway?
The Newspaper advertisement read Boomer Bloomers Fitness Center, and the pamphlet she received in the mail detailed what to expect after enrollment. Now, after the instructor’s opening remarks, Mariah wondered what in the fine print had she missed.
“Before you all decide to cancel your membership,” the Instructor continued with a grin, “please be assured that no one will be required to do more than they are capable of doing. Here at BBFC we fit fun into our fitness program. So relax, and let’s get started.”
“Oh, one more thing.” She held up both hands apologetically. “I’m sorry. How could I’ve forgotten this? Many of you may know that mental exercise is equally important as physical exercise. So, during our exercise routines, we will exercise our brain by memorizing our BBFC signature song."
Uh? Mariah’s head tilted to the side, her jaw dropped, and both eyebrows
I knew it! This is going to be much more than I bargained for.
The instructor chuckled. “There you go again with that look on your faces. I promise, memorizing our song will not be difficult. Before you know it, you’ll be singing along with the music.”
“Alright, are you ready?” Her hand clap and partial nod signaled that at least she was ready.
From her vantage point in the last row, Mariah's eyes darted around the room as she observed twenty bodies waiting to shape up what age had added on. Her smirk had everything to do with what she saw (as if she’d forgotten why she was there).
Mmmm, it’ll take a lot of shakin’ and rollin’ to help this bunch. I thought I was fat!
Once again, the Instructor’s voice filled the room.
“This will be our routine warm-up exercise. Shake your arms vigorously as if something’s crawling on them. She waited a few moments. “Now, bend down as far as you can and try to touch your toes."
Mariah made a point to keep her eyes on the floor.
“Good, you’re doing great. Now, march in place with your arms swinging back and forth.” This time Mariah could not avoid the scene that stretched before her. Various forms of adipose tissue protested in unison.
The instructor interrupted once more.
“Alright ladies and gentlemen, let's take a break. This is a good time to listen to our BBFC signature song that I mentioned earlier. Each of you will get a copy to take home. Try to learn as many words as possible for our next session."
Several bodies shifted impatiently as they waited for the music to begin.
It didn’t take long for Mariah to feel herself swaying to the rap like beat of the music.
Keep your head above water
Your eyes on your goal
Your nose to the grindstone
Up, up on your toes.
Endure every hardship
Keep a stiff upper lip
Let your fingers do the walking
Shoot straight from the hip
With every move now
Get that chin up.
Do the impossible
On your two feet
May nothing dismay you
Let’s see that teeth grit.
Let it all hang out now
While you hang in
Put mind over matter
Don’t be thin-skinned.
When the long arm of fatigue
Strikes from beneath
You can finish your exercise
By the skin of your teeth.
When you think you can’t do it
That’s the time to keep trying
Before you know it
Those pounds will go flying.
Had you been fortunate enough to glance through the window of the Boomer Bloomer Fitness Center one bright Monday morning around 11 o’clock, you would have witnessed older, oversized bodies movin’, shakin’, and puffin’ around the room, with a woman named Mariah leading the way and a shapely young woman bringing up the rear. If you looked a little closer, you would have noticed a rather smug look on her
young face as she punched the air with her fist to the beat of the music.
“Yes, she whispered, it works every time."
At the end of the session, Mariah limped up to the instructor.
“I could learn to love that song,”
“I already do,” her instructor responded.
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