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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Body Language (11/25/10)

TITLE: Double Wow: Especially in Love
By Henry Clemmons
11/29/10


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Abigail Autumn Andrews said she loved me, but I had doubts. All the right words came from her mouth, yet my heart wasn’t touched. A cool breeze picked up so I retrieved our sweaters from my truck.

Autumn and I sat on a park bench near the river. It was just the two of us and a kite I brought incase our conversation went right, or at least the way I’d hoped it would. It was a special kite I bought on-line.

The season’s change was evident the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I watched and listened to geese fly on their journey south. I liked the way they flew in formation. It spoke of unity, teamwork, family and love; all the things I desired and was in favor of.

I wanted us to be alone that day; away from families, expectations and the clutter of holiday. At some point in my life I desired a family and wanted to know if Autumn felt the same way.

My girlfriend preferred her middle name. She thought Abigail was too old fashioned and lame for a lawyer. She was named after her grandmother. I met her once at a picnic before she passed. She seemed like a great woman; one of virtue and honesty. She was a poet of notable fame. Her mind was still sharp as a tack that day. She shared some of her verses. I was impressed and remembered one.

Beware lips with words
While arms cross on chest
They’re bankrupt
Not worthy of invest

Beware lips with words
With a slight rubbing of nose
Thorns are sharp
On that dainty, but deadly rose

Beware lips with words
While fingers twirl in hair
They’re polluted
Stained with untruth and foul air

Beware lips with words
And no embrace
Beware lips with words
Especially in love
Beware lips with words
Neatly arranged
Beware lips with words
Especially
In love


When she finished reciting she gazed over at her granddaughter sipping wine and Abigail’s smile suddenly went flat like her spirit deflated; something changed. When her attention drew back to me she kissed me on the side of my face.

“Especially in love,” she whispered and excused herself.

I don’t know why she shared that particular verse with me. I don’t know if she was prophetic, but her words revisited me as Autumn spoke.

“Of course I love you,” she offered while rubbing her nose.

“Yes, I’d like a family one day,” she stated as she played with her hair.

And with arms folded across her chest she asked why I wanted to know.

I hesitated before responding. The wind was rustling through drying tree limbs above and I could hear a whisper.

Especially in love.

“Autumn,” I said looking her square in the eyes, “I think I love you, but …”

Nelly’s newest song, “Just a Dream” began playing from Autumn’s jeans pocket. I always felt it was a strange ringtone to have in a relationship, unless, it was a hint.

Hmmmm.

“Hey do you mind if I get this? I’m expecting a call on this new trial.”

She zipped her phone free from its case and walked over to the river before I could say I did mind.

I heard church bells ringing across the river.

Not with this lady, Lord. Not with this lady. And thanks for the heads up. And tell Miss Abigail up there she rocks; totally, especially when it comes to love.

“Hey, Hon, I have to run. Can we talk about this later?” Autumn strutted toward my truck before I could answer.

“Hey,” I said as I jogged toward her, “let me give you the keys. You take the truck. I’ll walk home later. I kind of want to hang out and fly the kite.”

“You sure, Baby? You’re so sweet. I soooo love you.” She took the keys, no hug, and was gone.

Goodbye.

I got the kite ready; a heart shaped red one, and tried to fly it as high as I could. I was going to cut it loose.

“Hey, that’s pretty neat.” A female voice startled me from behind.

I turned.

Wow.

“Are you an expert kite flier or something? That’s very high.”

What a smile.

“No, I’m just goofin’, killing time. You want to give it a try? You just have to hold this spool.”

‘Sure,” She said, rubbing her hands together.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“April.”

“Cool,” I said, tilting my head.

Double wow.


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This article has been read 651 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Melissa Lindsey 12/02/10
I really enjoyed reading this article.

It was light and fun, but still contained a powerful message about listening to the still small voice.

Rachel Phelps12/02/10
Love the light-hearted yet serious feel to this piece. I personally thought the transition to a new girl at the end was a bit sudden, but it worked in the context of the story. I like this take on the topic.
Colin Swann12/03/10
Enjoyed your story very much. I'm glad the MC wasn't so involved with Autumn that he didn't look in other directions when other fish in the sea presented themselves.
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/03/10
I really enjoyed your story--liked your main character. Like Poe, you can write poems AND stories.
Allison Egley 12/03/10
Hehehe Nice timing. Although perhaps he needs to keep his distance from April until Autumn knows what's going on. ;) Somehow I don't think he'll be cutting that kite string after all.
Cheryl Harrison 12/03/10
Good job. Romance with an underlying lesson. I enjoyed it. Keep writing.
Barbara Lynn Culler12/04/10
Love the choice of names for the new girl!
Colin Nielsen 12/04/10
Excellent.Loved this little story. Not so serious, but deals with n important issue. It was quite clear that Autumn's priorities were not right. I'm wondering if the repetition of 'a' in the girls name has any significance? I think it's called assonance or alliteration or something like that. Also liked the symbol of the Kite. And I don't think the way he found the new girl was sudden at all sometimes love happens like that.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/05/10
When it's right your heart just knows it! Sometimes it's hard to get your head to agree. I really enjoyed your MC. He was quite refreshing.
Christine Ramey12/07/10
I loved how you included the poem into this story. That was unique and different. Thanks for sharing and good story.
Melanie Kerr 12/07/10
I liked the play on the names Autumn and Spring. I also liked the wisdom in the poem.
Lollie Hofer 12/07/10
I liked everything about this story. Your mc's character was likable and had a great voice. The poem within the story was clever. Wise man to appreciate spring when it comes. Overall, very enjoyable.
Amanda Brogan12/07/10
April instead of Autumn ... I like it!
I also liked how the MC drew wisdom from a poem told to him years ago. (And how you brought your poetic skills into the story. ;) )

Being a hopeless romantic, I thought the ending was just perfect. It seemed that just as he was pulling away from what would have been an awful mistake in love, God provided him with something better. It reiterates the wonderful lesson: wait for the right one.

You should write prose more often. It's as awesome as your poems! Double wow.
Edmond Ng 12/07/10
I like the way you crafted the whole story to show what body language reveals. Glad the story ended on a more promising note of someone better, with heart break. A pleasant read.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/09/10
Congratulations on your EC!!! You really did a great job:)
Amanda Brogan12/09/10
YAY! Congrats on your EC! This was one of my favorite stories for this topic. :)
Lollie Hofer 12/09/10
Yay! This received an EC. Congratulations on your well-deserved recognition.
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/11/10
Congratulations Edgar ;-) on an EC for your delightful story.