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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Body Language (11/25/10)

TITLE: The Sixth Vow


Sara felt the coolness of the floor on her bare feet as she stood in the vestibule. Everyone stood and turned to see the bride enter. For anyone who knew Sara, it wasnít hard to imagine the reason why she had chosen the uncompleted refurbished chapel for her special day.

The floor vibrated. Sara held her head erect; her eyes focused on the altar. She stepped from the old floorboards onto the threadbare carpet and proceeded down the aisle. On her left, Jacob, a pimpled faced cousin, raised his eyebrows. His blue eyes widened. Standing beside Jacob was Steven, a next door neighbor. His jawed dropped and his steady eye contact caused Saraís face to redden.

Mr. Davies, one of her favorite teachers at the community college, gave a smile that revealed a gold eye-tooth she had never noticed before. A few students nodded slowly and smiled.

Iím so pleased they came.

Her smile looked calm.

My heart is pounding.

Saraís father walk straight and tall beside his daughter; his arm locked comfortably around hers. He patted her hand and she looked up to see his cheerful face.

I love you, Daddy.

Donaldís dad stood in the front row on her right. He touched his ear and scratched his chin. When Sara was almost level with her future father-in-law, he placed his hand in his jacket with a thumb protruding, but as usual his boyish grin made her relax.

Her eyes searched the pew on her left. Her stepmother, Mavis, looked primmer than ever in her elegant baby-blue pantsuit and striking hat with a bizarre floral arrangement atop. Mavis held her head poised with each head movement. Mavis glanced at her watch and then toward the back of the church.

Who is she waiting for?

An instant later, it was Donald who filled her visual space. He adjusted his neck tie and stretched his neck.

You look wonderful. Donít be nervous.

Dad lifted her hand and extended it to Donald who immediately took it in his own. With the other hand he lightly stroked her fingers. Sara cupped his chin in her hand for just a moment. She handed her bouquet to her bridesmaid and glanced one more time at her father who was wiping his eyes.

Amy Sparrow stepped forward and up a few steps to stand to the left of the minister. The eyes of Saraís dearest college friend sparkled and her long hair shimmered from the lights overhead.

Sara signed: ďYou look great!Ē

Amyís face turned a graceful shade of pink before she turned her head toward the minister.

During the wedding vows Donaldís eyes blinked excessively and he stood back at armís length.

Itís a good thing I know you, my love. Those contact lenses must be driving you crazy. You didnít have to put aside your thick lensed glasses for our wedding day. I love you just the way you are.

Donaldís lips opened and closed in the silence.

I love you too.

For what seemed like only minutes later, Sara noticed that Amy was unduly grinning while she signed.

Come back to reality, Sara. This is the sixth vow.

Saraís four senses drifted back to Donald. They gazed into each otherís eyes.

Every vow was etched in their hearts. The sixth and final vow was based on Stevie Wondersí song, their love for God and for each other, and the struggles they knew they would face.

We canít lose with God on our side
weíll find strength in each tear we cry
From now on it will be you and I
and our ribbon in the sky.*

A moment later the minister touched their shoulders. Donald and Sara looked up at their family and friends. Mavis was clasping her wrist with her other hand and stepping from one foot to the other.

Itís over.

The floor vibrated beneath them. Donald pulled her close and kissed her soundly. The music that had started up again caused her feet to pulse with the rhythmic tremors.

The couple turned to face the gathering and began their walk back down the aisle as man and wife.

Outside, Donald grinned and winked at Sara with his best eye. Her father and stepmother now stood at Saraís side and pointed upward. Donald squinted and Sara beamed. There in the clear blue sky was a rainbow ribbon with the words of their sixth vow trailing behind a small airplane.

* Lyrics by Stevie Wonder

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This article has been read 578 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Rachel Phelps12/02/10
I have a good guess who wrote this, and it's a precious story. Great idea for this topic. Well done.
Colin Swann12/03/10
Wow! You ladies have got weddings really enbedded in your minds. Liked the Amy Sparrow bit. Enjoyed your interesting account. It's a winner for me - but who am I?
Cheryl Harrison12/03/10
Very touching moments described here. I loved the added "gold-tooth" description. What can I say ... it's the little things. I have a feeling there is more than one chapter to this one. Keep writing!
Lollie Hofer12/03/10
Well, looks like we were all able to be at the wedding after all. Great descriptions of the event and its people. I loved the ending.
Allison Egley 12/03/10
I liked this. Good descriptions.

One minor typo, but it didn't detract from the entry as a whole.

I smiled at the "Amy Sparrow" bit. :) I also liked the ending.
Kellie Henningsen12/03/10
This was great! I didn't figure out the bride was deaf until quite aways into it but should have as the vibrations from movement and from the music coming up through the floor is a huge part of a deaf person's life. Very nice story!
Barbara Lynn Culler12/04/10
I loved this story and did not even catch on that the bride is deaf. After second read, I saw "the sign"!
Loved the ending!
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/04/10
I like your creative idea for the topic. The ending is just right.
Gregory Kane12/04/10
I also missed that she was deaf. But I was engrossed in catching every creatively arranged gesture and twitch. Excellent writing
Noel Mitaxa 12/04/10
You've built sublety within the depth of this very descriptive entry. I didn't at first catch on that Sara was deaf, but like others I just enjoyed the story. well done
Catrina Bradley 12/05/10
From the reactions of the congregation, I expected to read that the bride was unclothed. LOVE the way it came out (but I still wonder at the shock and embarrassment of those watching her enter the church.) Great descriptions,and an awesome ending.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/05/10
This is so beautiful. I loved the descriptions and could feel the love. Beautiful job.
Edmond Ng 12/05/10
Beautifully written. I like the way you described the details—it makes the story come alive in clear vividity. Excellent work!
Amy Michelle Wiley 12/06/10
Awww, sweet story. Liked all the little body language details.
Melanie Kerr 12/07/10
I didn't catch on that anyone was deaf. I liked all the little references to body language sprinkled throughout the story. It makes me think of all the different ways we can encourage people outside of using words.
Lyn Churchyard12/08/10
I love your descriptions. The little details were so important, from the pimpled-face cousin to the gold tooth and feeling the music vibrate through the floor--which is why Sara was bare footed I think. Excellent work!
Philip Barrington12/11/10
I liked the way the detail was described. well done.