The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/28/10
Interesting poem. Nice rhyming scheme. Good imagery.
I must confess I'm still a little unclear what actually happened? I'm guessing this couple were going to be married, she somehow made a mistake and they guy used the phone to call it off?
If this was the case, then I don't have sympathy for the girl because she was being selfish and caused the fall of the relationship. And I get the feeling this is not what you want to portray with this from what you've written in the last verses. I feel You want the reader to think the guy was being gutless because he wouldn't break up with her face to face or forgive her her selfishness and continue the relationship.
11/29/10
I enjoyed this clever, though tragic, poem.

To add my two cents: I took the poem to say it was the man's selfishness that destroyed the girl's heart (not the woman's).
12/01/10
One things for sure...with modern day inventions it makes these type of endings less painful for the coward. I could feel the pain and disappointment.
Wow this is a powerful piece. It definitely speaks to those who have had their hearts broken. You did a great job with the visualization as well.
Congratulations on an EC for your creative "heartbreaker."
Congratulations on your EC!
Congratulations. This was one of my favorite poems I could recall. It had that familial touch for me. Stan
12/02/10
Congratulations on your second place EC. Well done.
Theresa is right. The guy is the one who was selfish, not the girl.
12/02/10
P.S.P.S. CONGRATULATIONS on moving up to Masters. A double dose of Yee-haw!
12/03/10
Congratulations on your EC and 1st place win!!!

This was heartbreaking, but well-written. Great poetry as always!
12/03/10
Congratulations on your Editor's Choice award for this creative and haunting entry. Great work, Benjamin!