The Official Writing Challenge
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This must have been a harrowing experience that drew your family even closer together to God. Minor note: In the paragraph that begins "Alas", I'm sure you meant "at last." Thanks for reporting from the eye of the storm.
I can't imagine the fear and faith that the storm took you through. You did a great job making me feel like I was there with you listening to that radio. Great vivid descriptions.
11/18/10
I've felt drawn into your story and your faith, as you have depicted the savagery of an unforgettable event with such powerful word pictures.
11/18/10
I've felt drawn into your story and your faith, as you have depicted the savagery of an unforgettable event with such powerful word pictures.
11/23/10
Wow! This is a riveting story, given from an inside view--very powerful. I can see this as a magazine article or as part an anthology.

If you consider submitting this story somewhere, and I think you should, I recommend a few changes: This is an action-packed story about a very active force of nature. Small changes would increase your active voice. For example in Paragraph 5, "began to slowly exhale' would feel more active if you changed it to, 'slowly exhaled'. In fact, if you avoid 'began' and forms of 'to be' (was, were, etc.), you'll increase your active voice.

I loved this piece, and I believe it has the potential to become a much larger essay, in print, somewhere.