Eli: Good evening. Eli Higgins, reporting with breaking news. Peter, a so-called man of God, escaped from prison, killing at least two guards. Bartimus is live from...
Peter (Running into the studio, interrupting): Hold it right there. Get your facts straight.
Eli: Peter? How did you get in here?
Peter: You're asking a guy who just escaped from prison how he got into a news studio?
Eli: Valid point. Why are you here?
Peter: To set the record straight. You love candid interviews. I'd like to offer you an exclusive live interview on a braking news story. Beats a reporter standing outside of an empty prison cell, doesn't it?
Eli: But... This is... I don't... Fine. Just... just let me think about my opening question.
Peter: You can't come up with an opening question for me? I've got a suggestion. (mimicking Eli) Peter, how did you escape from prison?
Eli: Oooo! That's a good one. Peter, how did you escape from prison?
Peter: I'm glad you asked, Eli. It's really quite amazing. I was lying there singing to mice...
Eli: Singing? To... mice?
Peter: Yes. Singing. To mice. It helps calm them. I'd rather have a mouse sleeping on my stomach or under my hand where I know where he is than one trying to make a nest in my hair.
Eli: Well that's an.... interesting point.
Peter: Anyway, I was signing to the mice when...
Eli (interrupting): What were you singing to them?
Peter (Singing): I will lift up my eyes to the mountains, from where shall help come? My help comes from the Lord!
Eli: Wow. That was... haunting. So did the Lord send help?
Peter: I'm sitting here right now, arenít I?
Eli: I'm afraid I'm missing the point.
Peter: Let me finish telling my story. I was singing to the mice, and I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, an angel of the Lord was poking me in the side with a spear.
Eli: That's his idea of help? Poking you in the side with a spear?
Peter (sighing): Would you please let me finish and get to the good part? *beat* So the angel tells me to get up. As I stood up, my chains just... fell off. He told me to put on my sandals, pick up my cloak, and follow him. We walked past the guards, got to the gate, and...
Eli (interrupting): Wait! I know! The Lord sent down a bolt of lighting, blowing the gate to smithereens and killing the guards. Am I right? I knew you didn't do it.
Peter: Really? You knew I didn't do it? No, that's not what happened. The gate just opened. As soon as we got outside the gate, the angel disappeared. I thought it was a vision at first, but then I realized it was real.
Eli: Awww man. No lightening bolts?
Peter: No lightening bolts. Next I went to the house where I knew people were praying for me. I knocked and called out. The servant girl came to the door, and when she realized it was me, she got so excited she ran back, leaving me standing there. So I kept knocking, Until someone realized she was telling the truth and they let me in.
Eli (chuckling): Was she embarrassed when she realized she left you... out in the cold?
Peter: Very funny. Yeah, a bit, but I assured her it was okay.
Eli: What happened to the guards?
Peter: When they realized I was gone, they were wondering how I got out. When Herod found out, he executed the guards. That's the story and I'm sticking to it.
Eli: I knew you didn't do it.
Peter (sarcastically): Oh yeah. You were really convincing when you were reporting your "Breaking news story." (mimicking Eli) And now, breaking news about Peter who escaped from prison, killing the guards in the process.
Eli (sheepishly): Hey, you know the media... always wanting that next big story... seeing who can report the story first... who can come up with the most shocking headline. Those weren't my personal views. Honest. *beat* Okay. Fine. Maybe I did think you had killed them. That should teach me to report a story before I know the facts.
Peter: I forgive you.
Eli: Thanks, That was an inspiring story. My help comes from the Lord, indeed! *turning to face the camera* This is Eli Higgins, signing off. My your help come from the Lord. Good night.
All scripture from NASB
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