The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/18/10
Enjoyable read. :) I especially liked your use of narrator in the action! On future versions, you may want to fix his sentence about Bob's observation that color "televisions causes" people to be mesmerized. I'm also not so sure about the Bible reference application to televised sports. :) Nice take on the topic.
Hmm now you're making me rethink my planned Christmas present for my husband. You do make a good point it is important to turn it off sometimes.
11/20/10
I'm a big fan of this screenplay set up! Loved the 'but, Bob' and the 'but, Marcia'. And I loved the interruption from the narrator.

:)
11/20/10
Must've been a 3D TV if the narrator got in on the act!!!
I like the sense of animation in how your characters interacted.
A good fun approach to a thought-provoking issue.
11/22/10
I, too, like this format. Great story, funny with strong characterization.