The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 469 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This was an enjoyable read. I liked how Billy agreed that this was the best of both worlds. The CB lingo took me back to my childhood days. We had them in both cars and at home. Great story.
11/14/10
Really clever to blend in texting with CB slang. Yesterday my teenager emailed me from the dining room to say that he had laid the table for lunch - too much trouble for him to holler! Maybe I prefer your grandfather's opinions of all this technology ...
11/14/10
You nailed the topic with this one! Loved the conversation - very natural. Minor red ink: I think your last paragraph, while good, seems kind of "tacked on"; ending with Billy's last line would have more of a punch. Outstanding entry - I enjoyed this one a lot.
11/14/10
I remember the CB days. Farmers used them too. :) I enjoyed your creativity with the generational exchange and comparing the CB chat to the present day texting language. The 10-20 of this story was great. I could see it. I can't wait to read the sequel. :) 10-4
11/16/10
Love the opening paragraph, which immediately brought sight, smell and emotion onto the scene. I once spent over half an hour trying to perfect the description of that swirly coffee mug steam. You nailed it!

Love the opening dialogue in paragraph two--what a fun an unexpected switch from the beautifully set scene.

Nice job. Loved it.