The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Wow this is powerful. The ending was sweet and you could feel the true love between the couple.
11/13/10
Very sweet and loving story. Your writing is pleasant and smooth, and a joy to read.
11/15/10
Very beautiful. Writing is full of natural emotion yet smooth and believe me it did not sound contrived or forced. Well done.

"Don't let me become bitter, Jesus. The waters of Marah turned sweet when Moses threw in a piece of wood. Let Your wooden cross do the same for me please."

Favourite bit. I loved the image you've given. Important thing for all of us to remember.
I also loved the way you ended it with a text message. Often I wonder if when I go I'll have time to say one last thing to my wife and kids. Kinda morbid.

Also, we had a next door neighbour who we spoke to constantly He was not a believer but that didn't stop us trying over very best to share with him the truth. The day before he died of heart failure, he came over to have a chat but I was really busy that day and had no time. Something like that really makes you think about your priorities. What would I have done or said had I known. Your piece made me think of that.
11/15/10
Update. Let my wife read it. She is not a writer but loves to read. This is the only one so far (including my work) that has reduced her to tears.
Congratulations on your EC!
11/18/10
Congrats on your 2nd place win and the EC honor! This was perfectly on topic and so endearing.
11/18/10
Congratulations on your 2nd placing, it's well-deserved. Great scope of emotion. These placings are starting to mount up... Masters may not be far away!