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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hotel/Motel (09/12/05)

TITLE: Adults Say The Darndest Things
By Lisa McMillion
09/19/05


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What is a hotel/motel?

Adult #1 – It’s a place providing overnight accommodations in exchange for payment.

Adult #2 – A motel has a bed, a television, a phone on a nightstand, and maybe an outdoor pool. A hotel is where you’d actually vacation with the kids, with an indoor pool and fitness center.

Adult #3 - A place to vacation is a RESORT. Hotels are things you own, and a motel is a place you’d never go.

Adult #4 – Does adult #3 really own a hotel?

What is an author/writer?

Adult #1 – It’s someone who writes for a living.

Adult #2 – I think an author is someone who has been published, legitimately. And it doesn’t count if you’ve had to pay for your books or if it only happened one time and everyone has forgotten. That was a fluke, like a supernova or spontaneous combustion, only on paper. A writer is to an author as an egg is to a chicken and sometimes the egg doesn’t hatch and/or is eaten.

Adult #3 – An author is someone whose books you can read three times and still not understand what he or she is saying entirely. They are the only literary class you can invite to parties, though. Writers just turn everything into a big old group therapy session… “Oh, I have a book pending publication and in the mean time I’m in sales, blah, blah, blah…” God is probably the best author going because I don’t understand much of the Bible. I haven’t invited Him to anything yet, though.

Adult #1 – Have you felt the need to? God is the author and finisher of our faith, not the author of confusion.

Adult #4 – Yeah, but He did create its writers. And most of them are confused.

What is a stay-at-home mom/housewife?

Adult #1 – A woman who chooses not to enter the workforce.

Adult#2 – A stay-at-home mom is someone who sacrifices the lavish lifestyle in order to put family first. She is rarely appreciated outside of her captivity and is often stigmatized, complete with bumper-stickered mini-van and unkempt ponytail.

Adult #3 – Are we even on the same planet? “Stay-at-home mom” is the bourgeoisification of a mid-six-figure income tradition! As long as one is properly educated and understands the concepts of nannies and “me-time,” she’s doing it right. A stay-at-home-woman-- that would be like me going around saying “I’m a human.” Housewifery, on the other, entirely different and calloused hand, was a brutal practice from medieval times when women were considered farm animals and called by “Goody” and their husband’s last name. Like “Goody Hilton.” Can you imagine? I think there are still pockets of housewives in rural Appalachia.

Adult #4 – People think babies are slippery. I’ve known writers who’ve written entire articles on bathing their babies and clutching them like muddy footballs. I believe the contrary, that the older children get, the more slippery they become, until one day your trying to capture them is like embracing fog. I remember every game I was asked to play and didn’t because I was trying to get an idea out of my head and onto paper before it vanished. Maybe that’s why she never calls…

What is a Christian?

Adult #1 – A Christian is a person who believes that Christ was the promised Messiah, the Word made flesh, that he became the final piece for the incompleteness of mankind, and that He is alive, praying for us and giving access to our Father in heaven, a Father who loves us passionately. In God’s plan, there is nothing more important than His relationship with us and Christ is the only key to that door. Do you know Him? I may have had money in my life, or a great family, or intelligence. But none of those things matter when you come to grips with who you really are and why you’re here. Do you know Him?

Adult #3 – Wow! Who pulled your string? I give to charity.

Adult #2 – Who’s sponsoring this questionnaire? Is this part of a proselytizing religious group?

Adult #4 – In my sleep, I dream of a place that is peaceful, where the sun heats my skin to just the right temperature and I know everything… everything I haven’t understood. If there were a hotel in that place, I wouldn’t register, because I believe I’m a denizen, even though I’ve never been there truly. But it’s too late to speak of hotels now, isn’t it? There’s an entirely different question on the table…


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This article has been read 520 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 09/21/05
This is different, quirky, and funny. I liked it.
Shari Armstrong 09/23/05
What an unusual entry! I enjoyed it especially
"Adult #4 – People think babies are slippery. I’ve known writers who’ve written entire articles on bathing their babies and clutching them like muddy footballs. I believe the contrary, that the older children get, the more slippery they become, until one day your trying to capture them is like embracing fog. I remember every game I was asked to play and didn’t because I was trying to get an idea out of my head and onto paper before it vanished. Maybe that’s why she never calls…"

I've had converstations like that LOL
Julianne Jones09/25/05
Definitely different, but fun and a great read! Liked the way you re-introduced hotels in the last paragraph. It linked it all together. Keep writing!
Kathryn Wickward09/29/05
I love it and I'm sending it to my best friend now.