The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a thrilling story. I was a little disappointed that it was a dream I'd thought his friend was staging a trick to teach him a lesson. But overall a nice job with a great message.
Fast-paced. The shift to it being a dream kind-of threw me, but I liked the twist in your message about how gossip can kill. Keep writing!
11/09/10
I agree that the dream bit was sort of a let-down. You didn't need it to make your point. The dialogue worked well for the most part - just try reading it out loud and see where it doesn't feel quite right. Your pacing and suspense were excellent.
This story had a great message. I liked when you mentioned the "professional" help at the end. I'm glad your MC has a chance to fix his mistakes. Good job!
11/10/10
What a wake up call, for sure. Great drama and strong dialogue. I exhaled once I realized he wasn't dead. Whew! What a ride.
11/11/10
A strong message of what it means by "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21 NAS). Your story gives everyone something to ponder about in understanding the seriousness and consequence of gossip and rumor. Excellent writing!