Abigail flopped onto her bed, tears running down her cheeks.
"Oh, Father God, I don't know what's going on."
Tell me about it.
"You already know. You're God."
I know. But I want you to tell Me. I want to hear it from you.
"God, sometimes I wonder if I'm still Your child. Or if I ever was.
"It's these girls at youth group. They're spreading these... rumors that if you sin too much, you must not be a true Christian."
There's more, isn't there?
"I... I overheard them questioning if I was really a Christian. I was open and honest with them and told them how much I was struggling to read Your word daily. All they could talk about was how every Christian should always desire to read Your word, and how they can't live without it, and... well, I guess it just got worse from there."
That's still not everything, is it?
"Well, earlier, I had also shared some of my other struggles and sins. Then Tracy said that once we become Christians, we shouldn't sin anymore. She even claimed she hasn't sinned since she became a Christian two years ago."
And do you believe her?
"I don't know. I mean, I've never seen her do anything wrong, so I guess it's possible."
How did it make you feel to hear those things?
"Bad. Like I wasn't good enough."
And do you think that's how they should make you feel? Do you think that was right of them?
"Well, I can't exactly judge them."
Let's get back to your original question. You want to you if you are still My child, right?
Abigail, tell me about when you became a Christian.
"You mean when I think I became a Christian?"
No, when you became a Christian.
"Well, I was about four, I think. It was a Friday afternoon in the summer, and all week I had been listening to the Five Day Club speaker talk about You and becoming a Christian. And I knew from that first day that I had sinned and needed You in my life.
"So I raised my hand every day when he asked who wanted to ask Jesus into their hearts. But I guess he didn't see me those first few days, or though I was just raising my hand because others were. But the last day he took me into the living room, and I talked with him, and I asked Jesus into my heart."
I remember it well. I welcomed you with open arms.
"But now I wonder. Doesn't the Bible say something about loosing your salvation?"
Why do you think you've lost your salvation?
"Because I mess up. And I do it every day, if not more than once a day. I struggle. And then I ask for forgiveness, and..."
And I forgive you.
"But then I mess up again, and..."
And I forgive you.
And I forgive you.
"But doesn't the Bible say something about seventy times seven or seventy times seventy? I'm sure I've messed up more times than seventy times seventy, even."
That was an example only, and an example for man. It does not reflect My own forgiveness. Abigail, go get your Bible.
"I may have to blow the dust off it."
Hey, I like dust. I made man from dust. Now read John 10:29, but where is says "them," put in "Abigail".
"Okay...'My Father, who has given Abigail to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch Abigail out of the Father's hand.'"
"But... how many times, Lord? I keep on letting You down. How far is Your forgiveness?"
Abigail, I love you. And as long as you're seeking My face, you'll walk in the power of My all sufficient grace.**
"But how do I know if I'm seeking Your face?"
You're seeking Me right now, aren't you?
"Yeah. I guess I am. Thanks."
You're welcome. And remember. You are My child, you always will be, and I love you.
All scripture is NASB
** Adaptation taken from the song "Grace" by Laura Story
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