The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1299 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Very good entry!
I got a little confused in the part that starts off "Offstage voice: Let them eat steak! Ha Ha!" Was the rest of it (ie When I get home, Iím selling that van...) part of the offstage voice? Or was the character actually voicing this? Because after that it says "Offstage voice: That cute little waitress seems warm enough." And that would make it seem like he was talking the van part and not thinking it.
I love the idea behind this - the verses in the mind to correlate with Psalm 119:11. And it's an awesome storyline. Thanks for sharing!
09/20/05
Whew! I was so afraid he was going to give in to the temptation! Thanks for the suspense...I really liked how you included the Bible verses as the temptations surfaced and the "off stage" voice portraying his thoughts. Well written, easy to follow...Enjoyed!
09/21/05
Seems like you should have had two offstage voices? One the voice of temptation, and one the Spirit, saying the Scriptures? But well done, very realistic. As I've said before, I'd really love to be at a church that does these skits regularly. They're great!
09/21/05
Very easy to follow and visualize! A good one and good message. You showed so simply how easy sin can tempt us and how to overcome it. Great job!
09/21/05
Great job on this! It flows smoothly, the characters are very realistic, and the point is very clear. Well done!
09/22/05
Another great drama, Darlene. I agree about the two off-stage voices - great idea but the word count thing... (I think you said that same thing about word count on my entry LOL)
Nevertheless, a powerful piece. Well done!
Blessings, Lynda
Really great skit that says a lot in a few words. It's interesting, realistic, and drives the point home.
09/23/05
Excellent! I hope you're going to make a book out of all the slice of life skits. I've not yet read one I haven't enjoyed and found helpful.
09/23/05
Very well done - I liked the internal dialog coming from off-stage.