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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Gossip/Rumors (either or both) (10/28/10)

TITLE: Clipped
By Benjamin Graber
10/29/10


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Elaborate stories build a prison;
Brick by brick they build the walls
To cage me in a reputation,
My heart evicted from my home.

The chains of lies have captured me
And I am lost to society,
Another fallen heart forgotten,
Another cross to shame the hills.

Why did you choose to place my heart
Upon the altar of your pride?
You had my love as your companion,
But placed a halter on my wings.

I do not understand how pride
Could be more precious than a friend,
But maybe Iím too gullible
To see how vicious pride can be.

And now I know how it would feel
To be a bird whose wings are clipped;
My heart was shattered by your actions,
Your choice of words has caged me in.

And now I know how it can feel
To have my back carved with a knife;
To have a friend give an embrace
Then crank the rack to torture me.


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This article has been read 367 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amanda Brogan11/04/10
This is heartwrenchingly eloquent. It shows perfectly the pain of betrayal by the false words of a so-called friend. Very well-titled.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/04/10
Wow this is a powerful poem. You have excellent imagery in this piece.
Kate Oliver Webb11/04/10
Strong, strong message, given here in a very readable verse which simply drew me into the pain and frustration of the fruit of gossip.
Jody Day 11/06/10
Very powerful. Good strong words that show how sharp this kind of pain is. Great job!
Lollie Hofer 11/09/10
Ouch! I felt the knife go in. You did a good job of expressing the betrayal...I could see and feel the agony.
Phyllis Inniss 11/11/10
Powerful first stanza that sets the stage for the rest of the poem. You have described the pain and hurt very poignantly. The hurt of a friend is much worse than that of an enemy.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/11/10
Congratulations for placing 10th in this level!