The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/29/10
You did an excellent job pulling me into the dijointed, swirling world of the MC. I didn't feel as if I connected with her very much because it was unclear why she felt so distraught - although the lack of specificity was well done. Toward the end, I felt a little rushed to the conclusion.

Great voice in this piece!
Good job showing the gradual change of her emotions.
So what did she do???
This is a cliff hanger that is well told. I could picture it all as you described it so well. The MC reminded me of someone we know and love.
10/30/10
Wow. What a killer piece of writing. I really want to know more about these characters. Why does she want to end it all. Why can't she just leave. Emotional. Rings true. It was a pleasure to read. And you will not get any red ink from me.It'd make a great opening to a novel. You'll really hook your readers.
Wow! You did an incredible job with this very difficult topic. I liked how you left it open-ended I'm hoping the husband or someone gets there in time to remind her that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Excellent writing!
10/30/10
Well, I for one liked your entry. Very drmtic writing that kept me glued to the page. A very emotional read that did leave room for hope at the end. And that is all God needs, is some room. God bless.
10/30/10
I read this a few days ago, but I see I didn't leave a comment. I was left speechless. You made me empathize with your MC - I didn't need to know details to understand her feelings. Great title, too.
10/30/10
No matter how low the bottom is, Jesus is always the answer. Very well done.
Well I'll tell you what...I'm going to be thinking about Jenny ALL NIGHT! :) This was very well told and if I've got it right...she was distraught at being a burden because she was ill and not getting better so not sure about the questions asking what was wrong with her, unless questions were for a specific disease, but no matter, didn't take away from the story AT ALL. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
10/31/10
The distress in the MC's voice is multiplied by the use of bold letters. I could sense her emotion and her hopelessness. Good job.
First of all, you captured the female MC beautifully. You had me convinced it was a woman speaking. You have showed her despair and heartbreak in a very real way. The disjointedness, the self hate, the 'wishing' for things to be different. Excellent job Tim, excellent.
11/02/10
Very emotional piece....drew me right into her world. She is highly believable as a character, although the letter itself seemed a bit cliche (you did say you wanted a little red ink). I think it would add some oomph to include the details of her situation. BUT, that said, I thought this was EXCELLENTLY written and worthy of due honor. :)
11/03/10
I'm not sure I can describe my reaction, other than disturbed and intrigued. What was happening in the story was disturbing. Your ability to use 750 words or less to their fullest is the intriguing part!