The Official Writing Challenge
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10/29/10
I really like this well-written story. It has a great message in it. The characters were genuine as well. Loved Joe's mispronounced words, and his wisdom too.
10/30/10
Wonderful! The characters are a delight. My only red ink is the italicized portion - if it is a thought, I would put it in present tense. If it is more narration, the italics are unnecessary. Well done.
10/30/10
I enjoyed reading this as the MC worked through her conflict with a little help from Joe. Nicely done.
10/30/10
Great job of describing the environment- even the pesky fly.

I am curious as to why the cafe owner goes by "Joe" rather than his ethnic name.

Would love to hear more of this story!
10/31/10
Great story. It fits the topic well, and the characters are real and endearing. I like the way you start and end with the buzzing fly. Great job.
10/31/10
I too liked Joe. Sweet characterisation
10/31/10
You story flows so easily - with the setting and the dialogue. Very well done with an enjoyable plot and characters.
10/31/10
I enjoyed reading this story. The setting is excellent, creating a vivid scene. The characters are believable and interesting. I like that she listens to Joe's opinion, suggesting that she trusts his advice.
10/31/10
I really enjoyed this: the fly, the accent, the conflict. All of it was awesomely good. Thumbs up!
11/01/10
I found this delightful, and I loved the character of Joe.

Tiny nit-pick--his accent didn't 'sound' Italian to me. I appreciated that you didn't go overboard with trying to render an accent phonetically, but his syntax just didn't resemble Italian accents that I've heard/read.

Nevertheless, this was a great read, and I enjoyed it very much.
11/02/10
Loved your creativity on this topic, Pup! Writing our concerns about a loved one's life is never easy. But I think your Joe seems very wise.
Great job!
11/03/10
I love it! The blow-fly, the little word mistakes made by the waiter, and his oh-so wise advice on how to write this important letter. GREAT job!!!
11/04/10
Congratulations on your highly commended. Keep your chin up as you are doing a fantastic job. Love, Shann
11/05/10
Good job, only nitpick would be, using a "blow-fly" without sharing what it is. It could have been asteriked at the end of the story or described in the telling. I have never heard of it and I have learned never to assumed anything about your audience. Just a plain "fly" is universal or is it something unique about a blow-fly?
11/06/10
Here's another well done. Good to see you up there in lights
11/10/10
Congrats, well you are not far off. Not my kind of story but I agree well written.