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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Conversation (face to face) (10/07/10)

TITLE: Eloquence
By Graham Starling
10/16/10


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Every morning you wait by the steps for your friends. I come early just to steal a glimpse of your heart rending beauty. There is nothing about you that is not perfection. Your hair, a cascade of shimmering gold; your skin, as soft and smooth as fresh cream; your eyes, deep dark liquid pools in which my soul drowns daily. I am utterly entranced by everything about you; the way you sit, the way you stand, the way you tuck a wayward strand of hair behind your ear…

-


I see you this time each morning while I’m waiting. The moment you notice me, your footsteps falter and you stop to lean against that tree. The depth of your sighs, the longing in your eyes; like a starving man looking on the Earth’s last apple pies. My heart skips a beat when I see you and a field of butterflies in my stomach explodes into sudden flight. My hair is in the way. I will be able to see you more clearly if I move it…

-


… and you have such exquisite ears; each one as delicate as a rose, the folds of your skin the petals, intertwining each about the other in intricate, elegant curves. Sometimes, like now, you glance up at me. For a moment my eyes meet yours and I am consumed in their depth. Transfixed, I cannot move, I cannot breath…

-


I wish you would not stop. I’m jealous of that tree that it should enjoy so much more of your intimacy than me. I wish with all my heart that you would walk on just ten more steps and speak. Speak words to me that mirror the feelings burning deep in my heart. I cannot bear this. I cannot look at you…

-


… No! Don’t turn from me. Don’t you know how that tears at me? Don’t you care that you have taken from me the best part of my day? Not to see your face is agony. No this cannot be – this will not be! Your friends will be here soon; there isn’t much time. Come on courage, don’t fail me now.

-


… I hear your footsteps on the path. I can feel you, no more than an arm’s length away. Oh please say something. My breath catches in my throat, fire and ice course through my veins. For this moment, my soul has wings, soaring on my dreams – only speak so that these currents of hope that bear me aloft do not falter, that I may fly on into the bright promise waiting in our future…

-


“Erm… hi.”

“Hi.”



“So I was wondering...”

“Yeah?”

“… doyouwanttogotothedancewithmeonfridaynight?”

“OK.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, cool.”




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This article has been read 326 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Theresa Santy 10/21/10
Ohmygoshthatwassofunny!

You totally caught me by surprised, by your clever, hilarious twist at the end.

Well done. Loved it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/22/10
I love how you started all flowy and grand. It was a lovely story of admiration and longing. Then the ending was priceless you did a nice job surprising me.
Marita Vandertogt10/24/10
You really have a beautiful flowery way with words..at first I thought you were interpreting Song of Solomon... but alas, it was merely a lad in love - in need of a haircut. This was very creative...I enjoyed it, especially the end. Nice writing.
Lollie Hofer10/25/10
Thiswastotallysocool...thanksforputtingasweetsmileonmyface. Loved it! Your imagery was perfection.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/28/10
Congratulations on your EC!
Henry Clemmons10/28/10
Eloquently cool in a creative way. I love out of the box done well and this was just that. Congrats on being recognized for your talent, which you have a lot of!
Rachel Phelps10/28/10
Fabulous. Just fabulous. Congrats!
Cheryl Harrison 10/29/10
This is adorable. Congrats!
Heidi Cramer 10/31/10
Well done! Congratulations!


   
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