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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Conversation (face to face) (10/07/10)

TITLE: Ego Deflating Combat
By AnneRene' Capp


To my humiliation, the young store clerk’s reply was needlessly and irritatingly louder than necessary. “Computer glasses? There’s no such thing as computer glasses. What you need to do is see an o p t o m e t r i s t.”

What I thought and what I said were not remotely related to one another!
Listen you arrogant little snit, go back through that door you just came out of and come back out with an attitude adjustment and don’t forget to bring your manners with you!

However, before I could rearrange my internal thoughts into an appropriate “lady like” response, she had the audacity to repeat herself, this time even louder. Not only did this wannabe supermodel think I was optically challenged, but obviously hearing impaired as well. To my horror, every person I could “actually see” had turned to look at whom she was talking with--me!

Thanking God for his decision in not making internal thoughts audible, I uttered my reply with my teeth half-clenched. “Sweeeeetie, do I honestly look like I haven’t got a clue about optometrists or even ophthalmologists for that matter?”

With a smile that equaled the Cheshire cat, I concluded the conversation. , “I can see that you have no knowledge regarding computer glasses, but thank you for your time, and for the record, you might try searching the I N T E R N E T for computer glasses. They even come in designer fashions.”

Appearing calm and un-rattled, I turned and made my way to the nearest “unoccupied” aisle to exhale the hot air that produced my long winded but satisfying narrative exposition. Gees--this is not starting out well. Forgive me Lord I really couldn’t help myself.

Determined to keep the upbeat step in my walk I had arrived with, I made my way to the hosiery department seeking my first pair of support hose. This time, I sought out the most “seasoned” looking woman I could find, certain that she would possess the tactful qualities I longed for in seeking assistance.

“Excuse me, would you please tell me where I can find the support hose?”

“Support hose? What do you mean support hose?” Now pointing to a wall behind her, she continued. “All of our hosiery is right here but I have never seen anything labeled support hose. What are they?”

This has to be a joke! U n b e l i e v a b l e! This woman is at least 15 years MY senior and in apparent need herself of support hose!

Stunned, disgruntled, and purely fed up, I took a deep breath as I turned to leave. “They’re socks for people who stand a lot and definitely worth looking into for someone in your field. Thank you for your time and good day to you.” Good Grief….did I actually say good day? What in the world is wrong with me? I sounded like Mary Poppins!

Maintaining my outward composure, I scurried to my car to wallow in my emotionally draining ego fatigue and then realized I had something to be grateful for--I didn’t yet need dependz!

Re-energized to pursue my search for what I considered everyday items, I decided to check out one more store before succumbing to defeat. To my ecstatic relief both items were at my last stop, magnificently displayed near the front doors. No blind searching and no grueling conversations exposing my personal needs to strangers. I returned home in happy possession of what I triumphantly considered my “earned trophies”.

Normally an advocate for personable, face-to-face interaction whenever possible, I have come to the realization that perhaps futuristic isn’t all-bad. How blissful it would have been to simply walk into that first store, enter my inquiry into a computer, and receive a simple and private response.

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This article has been read 553 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/22/10
This was a hysterical read. I laughed out loud several times. That's why I do a lot of my shopping over the Internet. Thanks for the nice chuckle. (I had mice written instead of nice maybe I should search for computer glasses too:)
Jeanne E Webster 10/22/10
Loved your article! A good sense of humor is a gift from God for today's world. Reminds me of an incident with my dad. He did not like to shop & would call the store ahead of time to see if they had what he needed. One day he called J.C. Penney's and asked to talk to someone in men's underwear! Great writing and many blessings. :)
Amanda Brogan10/23/10
I enjoyed the humorous dialogue here. It was great fun to read! Reminds me of the Scripture that says "A soft answer turns away wrath." Happy that the MC finally found what she was looking for without blowing up at immature store clerks. :)
Tiara Huffman10/24/10
I love this, it's the kind of stories I hear my mom and sister share from there days working at J.C. Pennys...but on the other side where the customer is being a pain, it was nice to see and hear the other side of the story so to speak...but me being A.D.D. had to stop and look up computer glasses because I didn't know what they were(insert eye-roll smiley her)LOL
Barbara Lynn Culler10/24/10
Great commentary on aging and those who are immature! I laughted outloud at the Depends remark!

Great job!
Caitlyn Meissner10/25/10
Hehe! I've been a store clerk before, but hopefully never one like that. Good story! I enjoyed it.
Lollie Hofer10/25/10
Oh, funny. Your story gave me a good laugh. Been there and yes, I'm probably guilty of quick retorts as well. Thanks for sharing.
Jan Ackerson 10/26/10
Very witty!
T. F. Chezum10/27/10
Too funny and well written
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/28/10
Haha, don't you hate days like that? Funny story.