The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 525 times
Member Comments
Thus grabbed my attention from the very beginning. There was an air of mystery around it the whole time. Nice job with a satisfying ending.
Oh boy. The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways. Creative and edgy presentation here. Very gripping.
This is a neat story. I'm not so sure about Jesus being portrayed as a fortune teller, but He does know our past, present, and future better than anyone else. I really like the ending where the MC was healed and set from his sins ... and was on his way home. :)
This was very interesting. I liked how you presented the story, and the healing that came from the conversation.

I did have a hard time reconciling your MCs "this will be fun" comment with his not wanting to go into the tent in the next paragraph. Still, I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for a good read.
This was a well-written, well-crafted story. I also had trouble with the Jesus-being-a-fortune-teller-thing but was thoroughly blessed with how it turned out.
Very atmospheric and tense--well done!

I wonder if it'd sit more easily with people if you broadened it into allegory, with an empahsis on the carnival's atmosphere and the fortune-teller being symbolic of Jesus rather than Jesus himself.

You wrote your main character well, and I enjoyed reading this story.
Congratulations for placing 6th in level 3 and 15th overall!