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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Conversation (face to face) (10/07/10)

TITLE: CHITTY-CHATTY-Bang-Bang!
By Beth Muehlhausen
10/12/10


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CHITTY-CHATTY-Bang-Bang!


“Hey … darlin’ Darla!”

“Hmmmm?”

“Look at THIS!”

“Oh George, what NOW? I’m busy … chit-chit.“

“But HONEY - we hit the mother lode! Come see!”

“Oh, alright. But you’d better not be wasting my time.”

“Woman … do you want to survive? We need food, and here’s the king’s banquet table! Look - a huge platform covered with nuts!”

“Well now, you weren’t kidding, were you - chit-chit?”

“Nope. Start gathering … I’ll take this end and you work over there.”

“Sure. I’m always your help-meet … even at a moment’s notice.”

“Cut the sarcasm, Darla.”

“Just telling the truth, dear.”

“Wait – what’s that?”

“Where? What?”

“That dark, open space. It looks like it’s leading somewhere – maybe to a cave?”

“Ohhhhh … “

“Should I check it out? It might lead to more food …”

“George! Really! You’re obsessed with physical lusts of the flesh more than safety, prudence, or … well, more than ME. Now stay here and help me.”

“But honey … Darla … I hear something like a song in there. I have to go …”

“The mythological Sirens. Don’t listen. Get to work.”

“No … really … I must!”

“CRAZY MAN!”

“I’ve got to go see …”

As George scampers over the threshold, the noise from inside the house – generated by an upright appliance named Eureka – stops its song. A giant carrying a stick topped with a woolen duster hurries to close the screen on the sliding glass door exiting onto the deck. “Those darn acorns – great chipmunk bait! The door was left open, and now THERE’S A VARMINT IN THE HOUSE!”

Meanwhile, George looks for a spot to hide. “Daaaarrrrrllllaaaa - chit-chit-chit-chit!”

The monster knows no grace, but comes after him, swatting the duster just inches from George’s tail. Bang-bang … BANG-BANG-BANG! George hip-hops into the bathroom.

“DAAAARRRRLLLLAAAA - chit-chit-chit-chit-chit-chit!”

The monster stands in the doorway. It’s a stand-off: chipmunk-eye-to-human-eye. “I’m gonna get you!” it growls.

“Chit-chit-chit,” George replies.

George is trained sprinter, one known as the speediest among all his friends. With a rush of adrenaline he darts through the monster’s pillar-like legs. THWACK-BANG goes the duster. “CHIT-CHIT-CHIT-CHIT” chirps George as he runs for cover underneath a skirted bed.

Darla stands up on her hind legs and listens to the commotion through an open window.

“George! Come this way - chit-chit!”

“Daaaarrrrlllllaaaa - chit-chit-chit!”

BANG-BANG-BANG! The duster thwaps the floor around the perimeter of the bed, flicking the bed skirt into the air.

“Daaaarrrrllllaaaa!”

The monster retreats to search for a rodent trap, and George knows he’d better get out of there - fast. “Darla – chit-chit-chit?”

She responds on the other side of the wall. “Chit-chit, George! Come over here … I see a hole … “

“Where?”

“Just listen, honey. Come to my voice.”

“Huh? Wha-? Um …”

“GEORGE! This is no time to be uncommunicative. I’m going to keep talking so you can find the hole.”

“Yeah. Okay. Chit-chit.”

“La-la-la-la-la, here I am, outside with all the nuts, and you’re in there, la-la-la, the biggest nut of all.”

“Cut it out, Darla! It’s scary in here. I have no idea when the monster may come back and bang me with that, that, that THING again.”

“Here I am, with a sing-song voice, come on now Georgy, and find your way out …”

“I think I see the hole … hold on … yeah, I think I can get through there …”

“You? The glutton with the big belly?”

“DARLA! I can do it … I’m almost there …”

“AH – HERE YOU ARE! My darling George! In the light of day!”

“Yeah.”

My white knight is now ready to help me harvest nuts!”

“Yeah – nuts – sure.”

“Look - I can carry a big acorn in each cheek. Can you? C’mon. Let’s see what kind of man you really are.”

“Making jokes is a fine way to greet your husband who has just escaped from a maximum security prison.”

“Oh my dearest George … I just think this has been a good lesson for you. We reap what we sow, you know. Sow greed and foolishness and reap a hair-raising experience.”

“I suppose you’re right. I should stick to the task at hand …eh … and not get side-tracked.”

“Right.”

“So … look at this, Darla … I can get TWO nuts in each cheek … see … and still talk to you at the same time. Is that cool, or what?”

“Chit-chit, darling.”

“Chit-chit, my love.”


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Member Comments
Member Date
Sarah Heywood10/21/10
Cute story! I doubt I'll ever listen to the "chit, chit, chit" of chipmunks again without thinking of George and Darla! Great writing!
Laury Hubrich 10/22/10
Your title drew me in - one of my favorite musicals. Cute story. Poor manly little chipmunk. I don't think he's learned his lesson, though. I'm just saying... :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/24/10
I loved the tongue in cheek humor! You had me laughing at so many points. I admit zi was thinking squirrel in the beginning. I was close but the chipmunks were a perfect choice. Thanks for the chuckles!
Lisa Fowler10/26/10
Darned varmits! Helps to see the world from a fresh perspective! I enjoyed the view from the "inside-out" instead of the "outside-in" for a change.Loved the humor!