The Official Writing Challenge
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Isn't it great that no matter how much we mess up, God is faithful and always ready to forgive? Must admit I was wondering where you were going with this, but loved the ending. I thought it was interesting too that Jenny was wilfully sinful: "The moment I agreed to dance with him, I knew where it would lead." A well-written piece that shows great insight into the human heart and offers a solution without being preachy. Thanks for sharing and God Bless.
09/20/05
There's one thing that can help this piece. Try using different names for your other characters.
It started to get confusing when they all started with J. That's something I learned at a writer's conference. The workshop teacher said that making names with the same letter can leave your reader confused, since we don't really read the whole word anyway.

Other than that, it was great!
09/21/05
Yep, very well-written, showing the Christians stumble and that grace is always there for them. This should be required reading for new Christians. Nicely done.
09/22/05
Yes, He is quick to forgive if we are quick to ask. Every Christian struggles with temptation and some lose. Good work
09/22/05
Great piece, Karen! I think you're fitting in just fine with the advanced crowd. Great job!
09/22/05
"her grown up self seemed to slip away.." I liked that. I'm one of the Christians who can relate to a story about disobediance followed by regret. Thank God for grace!
09/23/05
This story is so real! Who hasn't been there? (OK, maybe not in a hotel room but falling into the trap of sin). The names all starting with "J" also crossed my mind while reading. You don't want to confuse your reader. But overall, it was an excellent piece, well written with great detail and emotion.
Blessings, Lynda
09/23/05
This was very well done, but the first bit with the machine gun confused me, but I'm guessing that was a dream?
09/23/05
Your story was expressed very well. We all slip and God is there to pick us up!
Excellent piece. Held my interest throughout.
09/24/05
Great work. You got the point across without going into the 'sinful details' or preaching at me. A well written provoking read.
09/26/05
I liked the way you flicked back and forth between the past and the present. Also your description of her head feeling like a lead ball wrapped in a marshmallow. Well done!
09/27/05
Yep Karen ... I was another one who made note of that lead ball in marshmallow bit. Very good description.

Just a few thoughts - the opening paragraph was a little confusing. I personally would have left that out. I know it threw me a bit when I was reading it.

This was also a little confusing, " "Jenny’s high school boyfriend wanted me!" That really confused me because I thought she was "Jenny."

But overall, this was very good. With love, Deb
10/13/05
I agree with Deb about that line... but I loved it. You have a great style! Don't believe I've ever mentioned that to you before. Can't wait to see your article for this week!