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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Conversation (face to face) (10/07/10)

TITLE: Driven to Silence
By Jesus Puppy


Jim was determined, today he would nerve himself and be bold, no matter what might happen.

For two weeks now, almost like clock work, a young brunette and her red-headed friend came in to the same Starbucks he did for lunch. They would sit so quietly, reading he thought, possibly studying for class. He truly desired to meet the girl, if only to find out her name. For the last week he could not get her off his mind, even his dreams seemed haunted by the warmth in her eyes.

He was shy by nature; an only child, very few friends, and not much interest in anything but reading. But this day he was driven to step out of his comfort zone and speak up-- even if it killed him to do so.

12:34PM... Right on time, the two girls entered, smiling as they passed his place near the door. Jim's stomach tightened as he watched them at the counter, but he refused to let his fear have its way. He took a deep breath as the waitress spoke, a little too loud, he though.

"Same as before, girls?" They nodded in reply, paid for their drinks and moved to the same spot as always-- the noisy table right by the cappuccino machine.

"How can they study with that racket?" Jim thought, "Oh well, to each their own, I guess."

Another moment passed as he calmed his ragged nerves and waited for them to settle. This is it, Jim stood and slowly crossed the room. As the shorter, dark-haired girl looked up and a smile crossed her face, Jim's resolve almost faltered, but he shyly nodded in her direction as he stepped up to their table.

"Hello," he said in as gallant a voice as he could, and gave them a slight wave of his hand. "I have seen you come in every day and wanted to introduce myself."

The girl of his dreams smiled in return, softly brushing a stay curl from her face, deep brown eyes sparkled in the sunlight flooding through the window. Her friend quickly opened a book in front of her, pretending not to over-hear.

"I was wondering," Jim stammered mildly, his words nearly a whisper. "They are having a new exhibit at the campus art museum. If you aren't doing anything later, maybe we could. . ."

Brunette strands rolled from her shoulders as the girl shrugged a non-committed reply, though her smile seemed to brighten. With growing embarrassment, Jim waved it off sheepishly and placed a card on their table.

"Well. . . if you. . . change your mind," he mumbled as he slowly backed away. "My name's Jim. . . Text me."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Rachel's long dark curls fell across her open book as she turned to her friend, her hands blurred before her in sign language. "I couldn't read his lips to see what he wanted, but he sure was cute."

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This article has been read 637 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/21/10
I can picture this scene so vividly. I'm sure poor Jim shredded some paper napkins before he managed to get his courage up.

I'm sure you've seen the typos by now and wish you could fix them. Though instead of thought was one I remember.

I hope you continue this story. I really want to know what happens next. Hmmm maybe the pretty girl could write Jim a letter!

I did enjoy the story immensely and I'm usually not big into romance stories but you've piqued my curiosity.
Lollie Hofer10/21/10
You did a great job with your MC, I could feel his nervousness and could see him walking with trepidation up to that table. Great ending! (I should have taken you up on your dare.) Yeh, there were some typos but still a good story line.
Jody Day 10/21/10
Great Job. I didn't see the end coming and I loved it.
Ruth Brown10/21/10
Very clever little story. I loved the premise. One could totally picture it all!
AnneRene' Capp10/22/10
GREAT ending and I too, didn't see it coming. This is so charmingly warm. Again, I too, could feel Jim's nervousness and felt as though I were walking in his shoes throughout the story. After reading this, I was still holding my breath for Jim, feeling what he must have felt as he left. I want this to continue so Jim will know what we know--he's SO CUTE! :)
Tiara Huffman10/24/10
Awe poor Jim he didn't even see it coming...I have to say though that I am totally intrigued by this Rachel and wish to see more of her. You did a good job!
Genia Gilbert10/25/10
Great title and story. I liked the twist at the end, but wanted more to happen. lol
Jan Ackerson 10/25/10
Very charming story--you wrote your MC to be a very vulnerable and charming young man.

If he'd observed the girls for two weeks, surely he would have seen them using sign language at some point?

I feel like Jim and Rachel will get together--you left us with a sense of hopefulness. Nicely done.
Barbara Lynn Culler10/25/10
Good story and take on the topic. I want to hear what happens next.
Kristi Peifer10/26/10
Nice job! I didn't see the end coming, either.

Not sure what else I can say that hasn't already been said! :)
T. F. Chezum10/27/10
Well written. I like the mc. I like the different take on the topic
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/28/10
Hehe, cute story. I was surprised, also, that he hadn't seen them signing together, but otherwise a cute and well-written story.