The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
09/17/10
Because of your word pictures, I had no trouble "seeing" these two characters, and the dog too. A very enjoyable read and liked how Mr. Thatcher softened up at the end.
This is a wonderful story. There's nothing like a young boy to melt a grumpy man's heart.
09/19/10
An old man foaming at the mouth and the kid STILL wanted to be his friend. I love the innocence of the boy drawing the grump right out of the old man.
Nice story

With the descriptions of foaming and grumbling, I thought he was having a seizure.

Glad he softened his heart.
09/22/10
I'm glad that the young boy wasn't put off by Leon's harsh exterior. I really like this part: "his heart had been fired repeatedly in the kiln of circumstances gone sour." Nice word choice.
Congratulations for placing 12th in your level and 17th overall!