The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1693 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
09/19/05
Fascinating, suspenseful story! Near perfect - just fix the verb tense inconsistencies in the flash-back paragraph.
09/20/05
Excellent writing! The twist at the end really got me! Nice nice nice! This could be a contender... clear a place on your mantle!
This is amazing! i can't believer a dozen people haven't left comments on this story, it's incredible. I couldn't stop reading. You're articulation of your central charachter were perfect. I could see everything and feel the tension, remorse and confusion. Excellent writing and excellent stroy! Congrats. Hope to see this win!
09/20/05
Kept my interest throughout. Great twist at the end. I liked the way you clearly showed, through the character's actions and the reactions of Jason, that the scriptures had changed her life without even mentioning it. A great example of showing not telling. Well done. Yeggy
09/21/05
This is great--very tense and atmospheric. Only one very teensy correction: S.W.A.T. team, not swat team. One of the best character studies I've ever read.
This was great, Kyle! I love it when you do the dark but add a taste of God's light.
09/22/05
Ok. My heart is still pounding and racing. Where's the rest of the story? I want more.
Tremendous job! You had my attention throughout. Is that a flicker of light I see through the darkness? Even the dark can't hold up to that. Great job! Thanks for sharing! Maybe we can find out what happened to Nicole in another article?
09/23/05
I didn't see the twist coming either, which is saying something around here where we are all looking for the unpredictable! Glad you found the time to enter!
God Bless, Karen
09/23/05
Great writing. Enough tension to keep the reader riveted to see what will happen next. Thanks for sharing.
09/23/05
Wow - very very well done! a great read.
Loved this too! Great suspense and didn't see the end coming! Good job! Blessings, Amy Verlennich
09/24/05
Great story! I enjoyed the read. Good suspence and tension throughout the piece. This is a winner in my opinion.
As Karen said, we should expect the unexpected around here - but I didn't. The ending took me completely by surprise! Hope to see you in the winner's circle. Well done!
09/26/05
Kyle, you have NO idea how thrilled I was to see you in the Editors' Choice this week. I thought your entry was outstanding when I read it - suspense, thrills, and a twist. What more could we ask for? Congratulations on this very well deserved win! With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Woo hoo! And he finally gets a much deserved reward. And it isn't any tear-jerker either. I enjoyed this very much.
Congratulations, Kyle! Your story kept me captivated throughout, and you had me easily going the wrong way when the twist came at the end. I found myself nodding in appreciation for your art and craft as a writer. Looking forward to reading more of your material. J.
09/28/05
Fantastic work! Great surprise ending.