The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/19/05
Fascinating, suspenseful story! Near perfect - just fix the verb tense inconsistencies in the flash-back paragraph.
09/20/05
Excellent writing! The twist at the end really got me! Nice nice nice! This could be a contender... clear a place on your mantle!
This is amazing! i can't believer a dozen people haven't left comments on this story, it's incredible. I couldn't stop reading. You're articulation of your central charachter were perfect. I could see everything and feel the tension, remorse and confusion. Excellent writing and excellent stroy! Congrats. Hope to see this win!
09/20/05
Kept my interest throughout. Great twist at the end. I liked the way you clearly showed, through the character's actions and the reactions of Jason, that the scriptures had changed her life without even mentioning it. A great example of showing not telling. Well done. Yeggy
09/21/05
This is great--very tense and atmospheric. Only one very teensy correction: S.W.A.T. team, not swat team. One of the best character studies I've ever read.
This was great, Kyle! I love it when you do the dark but add a taste of God's light.
09/22/05
Ok. My heart is still pounding and racing. Where's the rest of the story? I want more.
Tremendous job! You had my attention throughout. Is that a flicker of light I see through the darkness? Even the dark can't hold up to that. Great job! Thanks for sharing! Maybe we can find out what happened to Nicole in another article?
09/23/05
I didn't see the twist coming either, which is saying something around here where we are all looking for the unpredictable! Glad you found the time to enter!
God Bless, Karen
Great writing. Enough tension to keep the reader riveted to see what will happen next. Thanks for sharing.
09/23/05
Wow - very very well done! a great read.
Loved this too! Great suspense and didn't see the end coming! Good job! Blessings, Amy Verlennich
09/24/05
Great story! I enjoyed the read. Good suspence and tension throughout the piece. This is a winner in my opinion.
As Karen said, we should expect the unexpected around here - but I didn't. The ending took me completely by surprise! Hope to see you in the winner's circle. Well done!
09/26/05
Kyle, you have NO idea how thrilled I was to see you in the Editors' Choice this week. I thought your entry was outstanding when I read it - suspense, thrills, and a twist. What more could we ask for? Congratulations on this very well deserved win! With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Woo hoo! And he finally gets a much deserved reward. And it isn't any tear-jerker either. I enjoyed this very much.
Congratulations, Kyle! Your story kept me captivated throughout, and you had me easily going the wrong way when the twist came at the end. I found myself nodding in appreciation for your art and craft as a writer. Looking forward to reading more of your material. J.
09/28/05
Fantastic work! Great surprise ending.