The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/16/10
Sad commentary on what takes place in too many nations around the world. If this is a true story, glad for the happy ending.
Very cleverly written and interesting
Wow this is so intense. My heart breaks for that little girl inside. I noticed in the first line you used to instead of too but after that I was so taken in by the emotions it didn't matter. Great poem!
09/17/10
Very powerful. I was deeply moved. And thank you, for lifting me up with that perfect ending!
09/18/10
This is certainly an issue affecting many people in the world today. Just recently here in Mozambique we had to deal with a fourteen-year-old girl whom the family wanted to marry off. I suspect that with the line about bonnets and braids you picture a US or European location. I think it would have been helpful to develop the actual setting a little more clearly.
09/21/10
Too sad that this happens to innocent girls. Most of them don't have the chance to escape their intended fate. I'm glad that your MC did.