The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/16/10
Very nice.

The story was captivating and I kept wanting to jump ahead to see what's coming nest.

Your prose is smooth and and refined.

Loved the message.

Very nice, indeed.
09/16/10
Nice use of details for creating atmosphere! A couple of question marks are missing in the dialogues in the 1st half. Nice job.
09/16/10
Not sure if this captured the
topic because the story really didn't focus on "the inner person" of the homeless woman. By the title and the narrative it would suggest just the opposite. You are focusing more on the outside as a "beholder" and NOT looking on the inside to
discover what makes a person "tick".

There is, nevertheless, a good message about how we should view homeless people.
This story is a great reminder not to judge others. It's a reminder I often need. I thank you for a great message.
09/17/10
Wonderful message. You held my attention the whole time. Great job!
09/18/10
A good reminder that the "inner person" in your MC felt bad about not looking for the "inner person" in the other lady. Good conclusion.
09/18/10
Sad but realistic tale of unfortunate people we see all the time in our cities--and even our small towns. Good writing; you caught the restive atmosphere with your dialog and descriptions.
09/20/10
It's hard not to judge others by their outward appearance. Thank you for the great reminder.
What a sad story. I encounter a lot of homeless in my city, and it is heartbreaking. There is even a "tent city" just 4 miles from where I live.

Very good as a devotional!
I was wondering if someone would take this scripture on and run with it. I'm glad to see you did and ran it all the way to a touch down. Excellent dialogue and intrigue with the scripture tying all together in a profound if not convicting manner. Great job, really enjoyed the way you presented this.
09/21/10
Great characters! The ending felt a little rushed, but 750 words is quite the limitation. Good work.
This is so genuine. I also, couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. You did do a great job with your descriptions and I could feel what Muriel felt as she looked away, ashamed for eavesdropping. Your message was actually "right on topic" about the inner man and more importantly, what God sees. :) Great title too.
10/07/10
This was a great story. We should all take that look on the inside of ourselves.