I screamed in frustration. "Would you please just stop?" Then I whimpered and cowered in the corner. But this was all in my head. You see, I have been.... er.... blessed with an over-analytical mind. 'Tis a blessing, 'tis a curse. Though seeing as it usually comes to play at the most inopportune times, it tends to be more of a curse.
What's that, my over-analytical mind? Okay. That's right. I'm sorry. Yes, God made you. So it's not a curse. More of an... annoyance.
Hold on here. My mind doesn't like that either. So what, pray tell, Miss OAM, can I call you? Don't have an answer for that one, do you, huh? Ha. I got you.
Allow me to show you some examples of Miss OAM in action. Sit back and enjoy. But don't think too much. It strains the brain. Trust me, I know from massive amounts of experience.
Take the other night, for example. I couldn't fall asleep. I told myself I needed to fall asleep. Now I'm sure we all know that this does not work. But for people such as myself who have OAMitis... (Yes, OAM. I know that is not a word. Please just be quiet. And would you please stop trying to pronounce it? There is no proper pronunciation. Take your pick.)
Now if my OAM would take a chill pill, I'll continue my story. I was trying to fall asleep and couldn't, and I told myself I needed to fall asleep. Now a normal mind, perhaps, would stop at If I don't fall asleep, I'll be tired in the morning. Keep in mind, I have no experience with a "normal" mind. (Is there such a thing?) I only know my good 'ol friend OAM. So the thought process went something like this.
If I don't fall asleep soon, I'll be tired. And if I'm tired, I may have trouble staying alert. And then I'll doze off while I'm driving and careen off the rode and DIE!
There you have it. From "I need to fall asleep" to death in 6.35 seconds.
Sometimes I'll be talking to a friend and I'll look over and noticed a glazed look in her eyes. And then I notice the "smile and nod" response. I've been known to interrupt myself in the middle of a sentence.
"So then, if that happens, I can't help but think...."
*smile and nod*
"I'm over-analyzing things again, arenít I?"
*smile and nod* "Uh-huh."
OAM, please go to the time out corner until our friend leaves. No need to leave two brains fried tonight.
I remember reading in one of my college text books about metacognition; basically, "thinking about thinking." Oh, I am a pro at this one. Isn't that the very definition of an overly analytical mind? You think about thinking so much, that the grey matter of the brain turns a murky brown. Metacognition is something I have down to a science. Pardon the pun.
But then, as I began to read, my textbook threw me for a loop.
Think about metacognition.
Now, the normal mind (Reminder: I have no knowledge of this odd phenomenon) might just read over that. But oh no. Not OAM. So wait a second.... I'm supposed think about thinking about thinking? I can think about thinking, but how can I think about thinking about....
Brain overload! Red alert! Close book now! Red alert!
Ooooo..... That red is a nice change from that murky brown color. I think I kind of like it.
Okay. Snap out of it.
Think about metacognition.
Think about thinking about thinking? But.... but....
"Mind, sit. Stay."
My brain never listens.
All stories presented in this entry are true.
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