The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
09/10/10
Aw, this is so sad. But at least we know the girl went to live with her Savior.

The story is intense and kept my full attention. I couldn't help thinking at the end that maybe her death would lead to the salvation of many of the tribe members.

Awesomely written!
This was so suspenseful I enjoyed every word even the ending. Outstanding job!
09/12/10
The suspense is taut! Your story is a compelling read.I really felt sorry for the warrior who couldn't prevent the killing.
09/15/10
This is an awesome story with great plot and characters. Always look for words you can trim to make your writing even tighter. Tension can be shown in clipped sentences and short paragraphs. Well done.
09/15/10
Loved the title...this was an excellently told suspenseful tale...I liked your depiction of the MC's character, loyalty & bravery and the faithfulness of the missionary's daughter, this was very engaging!
09/15/10
Oh, this was good! Even though I knew the outcome from the beginning, the suspense of how it would play out kept me eagerly reading on. This was masterful. And your title - what a good play on words!
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level!