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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Feel (emotions) (08/26/10)

TITLE: The Barefoot Princess
By Amanda Brogan
09/01/10


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Long ago, in a land far away,
Lived a young princess, by her feelings led astray.

Unlike the other maidens so refined and fair,
She did not fuss over clothing or hair.

To have jeweled or glass slippers she did not whine,
She’d rather instead, walk barefoot among pine.

Alone in the forest she loved to dance and sing,
Stopped only by a summons from her father the king.

To the summons she always responded with glee,
For if she loved anyone’s company, her father was he.

Hours she could spend listening at his feet,
But one day in particular, he had someone she must meet.

On shoeless feet, she ran to the king with joy,
Though she halted abruptly at the sight of … a boy???

Who was this young man to whom her father now talked?
They seemed not to notice her as she inched up the walk.

Her father laughed heartily, then turning around,
He caught sight of her feet, caked in mud from the ground.

“My dear, you should take a lesson from Eliot here,
On his fanciful boots you won’t find a smear!”

The king lift’ his knee slightly and tapped a boot of his own,
“This sensible young man could easily take over my throne!”

At this the princess was shocked and very much jealous,
How could her father be, towards this stranger, so zealous?

“But father,” she sputtered, “What can you mean?
As your daughter, I have the right to someday be queen.”

“Ha! You?” scoffed the lad, who looked younger than she.
“Your judgment would be nothing compared to me.”

The princess’ knees shook violently; she wished she could do the same,
To the neck of that boy. Yes, that would render him tame!

“How dare you show up and treat me this way!
I have not even met you except for today.”

Her cheeks were red-hot, her eyes were ablaze.
The young man just smirked, not the least bit amazed.

“Come now, sweet daughter, this boy is your relation,
A second or third cousin from a neighboring nation.”

“Then let him go back,” replied she in a huff.
“A few minutes in his presence is more than enough.”

With that she turned away before the king could speak,
And ran back to the forest; her self-control weak.

Tears began to blur her eyes, betrayal charred her soul,
‘Til up ahead she did not see; her foot caught in a hole!

With a cry she tumbled down, then looked upon the sprain,
She was sure that no one knew or cared about her bit of pain.

“Father has a new heir now; he cares not where I go.”
With this a tear dripped from her chin onto her dirty toes.

No sooner had she begun to sob about her awful state,
Then the king himself emerged through the trees, though she’d left him at the gate.

Calling her name, he ran to her side, with quite undaunted speed,
Kneeling there he looked her over, to help her in her need.

“But father, what of Eliot?” she asked as he scooped her up.
“Him?” he said as he started back, “Why, he’s nothing but a pup!

A playful boy, that much is sure, though arrogant indeed.
I’d be not surprised if he left this day, back home on his gallant steed.”

Compassion filled his gentle eyes and he gave a nod of his head,
“Now don’t you worry over what took place or anything that was said.

I was only jesting back in the garden, I really meant no harm.
You shouldn’t let things irk you so, and cause you great alarm.”

At this the princess flushed bright red, from embarrassment this time,
And passing Eliot, she felt quite dumb as his view came into line.

Still clinging to her father’s neck, her mind recalled the day’s dealings,
The princess then decided, in the future, to better govern her feelings.



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This article has been read 473 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/02/10
I'm in awe of how you manage to tell such a story in verse yet. This takes a great deal of talent. I enjoyed an occasional snicker here and there, as well.
Kaylee Blake 09/06/10
This was very well-crafted and wasn't forced in the least. The flow was very easy to read, with a story so delightful to follow. I think many girls who read this will place themselves in the role of the "barefoot princess," I know I did. I admire your talent, great job!
Terrah Lynn09/07/10
I always appreciate a good poem, and a poet I am not. You wrote a very good poem!
Caitlyn Meissner09/07/10
I thought this might be the one. ;) I liked your idea for this challenge entry, and the ending wasn't at all what I expected. Your king is a good reminder of how God cares for us, no matter who we are or what happens to us.
Barbara Lynn Culler09/07/10
I felt like I was observing a Disney Cartoon!

I bet in the future, the two grow up and get married!

What fun!
Sarah Elisabeth 09/07/10
Aw, what a sweet story! Gotta love a princess tale :-)
Cheryl Harrison 09/07/10
I loved your MC. I enjoyed the relational dynamics she had with her father. Good job!
Nichole Hall09/07/10
This poem rocks! I love to read a rhyming poem and hate to write one. You did a fabulous job! You told such a sweet and deliberate story through a few lines at a time. Great job! And I hope to read more of your work.
Kate Oliver Webb09/08/10
You're such a PRO! Wonderful writing. Fun story, and in perfect rhyme, yet! I'm in awe....
Rachel Phelps09/08/10
This is a really cute story, well told. Fun!