The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/02/10
Realistic overview of a slice of time in Lindsey's day. I was interested from the first paragraph, but maybe it would have been helpful to give the reader the reason for her depression. I'm assuming, from the last paragraph, that she either wanted children and couldn't have them or maybe she had tragically lost a child. Or, maybe your intent was meant for the reader to draw their own conclusion.
I have been there and know that feeling well.

I was also curious as to why the weight was an issue as well as hearing children play.

Loved the descriptions.
09/06/10
Excellent writing. I liked the 'blip' in your emotional flatline in the closing paragraph.
Depression is a serious illness. For so many years it was an ugly secret. Stories like this will help to bring it into the light.
On topic and well written.
09/07/10
Poignant description of a depressed person's day. Oh my, it's truly spot-on. Great writing here. I, too, liked the blip at the end because of the children; but I also thought the attraction to the red clogs toward the beginning was a positive blip. She's not as flat-line as she supposes; something is going on here....
09/08/10
This story is very well done. I would say that devoting a few words to a why or how might have helped, but the more I think about it the more I like how this is simply a slice-of-life. Well done.
09/09/10
Thanks everyone for your feedback!

I understand the readers wanting more information as to why my MC is depressed but I chose to omit that because it really doesn't matter what brought on the depression. What matters is that depression happens for a myriad of reasons. What matters is getting help for depression. What matters is that people with depression be treated with compassion. It's a serious illness that is often overlooked, misunderstood and even treated with discrimination.

My intent-- in 750 words or less-- was to give others a glimpse into the thinking and feelings of someone who is clinically depressed.
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level and in the top 40 overall.