Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Feel (emotions) (08/26/10)

TITLE: Money, Monks, and Mischief
By Caitlyn Meissner
08/29/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Gray clouds hung in the sky, threatening rain, as Giles and I urged our horses through the village on our way to Uncle Roderick’s castle. As we passed the walls of the monastery, a monk stepped out from the gateway and waved at us.

Startled, I jerked my horse to a stop. Even with his brown robes and tonsured hair, the young man looked familiar to me.

“Richard?” I gasped, staring into my cousin’s laughing eyes. “Is that really you?”

“None other, Edmond,” he said. Then his hand flew to his mouth and he grimaced. “Cats! I broke it again!”

“Broke what?”

“My vow of silence. This is the third time I’ve broken it this week.”

Grinning, I dismounted. “Hold my horse, Giles,” I called, tossing the reins to my page boy.

“Yes, sir.”

“Now,” I said, taking Richard by the arm, “what’s going on? Just a couple weeks ago you wanted to be a chef.”

“Oh, that?” Richard laughed. “A passing whim, nothing more.”

“But now you’re a monk? What did Uncle Roderick say?”

“Well, I’m not actually a monk. Just a novice. I had Brother Bart shave my head anyway, for fun. As for father, we discussed it, rather loudly. He claims it’s another of my ‘follies,’ and that I’ll soon lose interest.”

“Will you?” I asked.

“I may not have a chance to find out.”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“Everything! Remember Peggy?”

“From the mill?”

“Friar Benedict caught me hanging around her. He warned me to stop ‘flirting’ with girls.”

I groaned.

“And you should have heard him yell when I put a frog in Brother John’s cowl.”

“You didn’t!”

“I did. I meant it as a joke, but the old fellow nearly died of heart failure. Now Friar Benedict thinks I’m not ‘serious’ enough to become a monk. He says if he catches me ‘backsliding’ one more time, he’ll send me home.”

“Why make him go to all that trouble?” I asked. “Why not come home now?”

“You don’t understand,” Richard said, kicking meditatively at a shrub. “I’ve been having these … feelings. I want my life to count for something.”

“And it can, at home,” I protested. “Dick, you’re the son of Count Roderick. You have money, influence!”

“Maybe,” Richard said, considering my words, “but I want to HELP others. And I’ll be able to do that here if--”

“Richard!” bellowed an authoritative voice.

Richard jumped. “Cats! That’s Friar Benedict! Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

Hurrying up the path to the monastery, we met Friar Benedict at the door. His look of frustration deepened as he saw Richard.

“Where have you been?” the friar barked. “Hurry, and fetch your basket of food for the poor. Brother Bartholomew is waiting.”

Richard nodded and scurried away, leaving me alone with the friar.

“Do you know that young man?” he asked me.

“My cousin.”

“Then couldn’t you persuade him to leave?” the friar pleaded. “You can see for yourself the boy doesn’t belong here.”

Before I could reply, the sound of scuffling broke out from inside the monastery.

Friar Benedict quivered, then plunged inside, while I followed close behind.

We ran down the corridor, the commotion growing louder until, turning a corner, we almost fell over two monks scuffling on the tiled floor.

Friar Benedict waded in and separated the two men.

I moaned when I realized one was Richard.

“Brawling? Here?” the friar bellowed.

The other young man, obviously Brother Bartholomew, pointed an accusing finger at Richard.

“Insufferable!” the friar huffed. “Richard, consider yourself dismissed.”

And, turning, Friar Benedict stalked down the hall, accompanied by Brother Bartholomew.

I took Richard’s arm and helped him outside.

“Dick, I’m so sorry,” I said.

But my cousin only grinned at me.

“You’re sorry I took your advice? Why? It worked splendidly!”

I blinked. “MY advice?”

“Didn’t you mention how much I could do with the money father gives me?”

“Well, yes.”

“Then you were right! Brother Bartholomew told me this morning about not being able to afford a physician for his sick mother, so--”

“No!” I cried, clutching my head. “You didn’t!”

“After much thought,” Richard continued, “I realized the monastic life wasn’t quite to my taste, so I promised Bart three gold pieces if he’d let me start a brawl. It worked, too,” Richard added, as a rumble of thunder shook the air.

Then, as the rain began to fall, he turned his face up into it. “Ah! Doesn’t it feel good to help others?”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 483 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/02/10
What a fun story! Very creative and with a delightful MC.
Kate Oliver Webb09/05/10
Really delightful! Well-written: flows easily, builds at the right tempo and surprises at the end. I think I see Richard appearing as MC in a wonderful novel, getting into all sorts of risky escapades as he tries to "help people." More, please.
Gregory Kane09/06/10
Seems to me that Richard isn't the only one to have forgotten about his vow of silence. Great japes!
BTW I suspect that Edmond's assistant should be just a page and not a page boy.
Patricia Turner09/06/10
The dialog, the characters, the story - wonderful.
Amanda Brogan09/06/10
How sinful of Brother Bartholomew to agree to Richard's plan! He should be dismissed as well! *Wink*

I couldn't help laughing at Richard's frequent changes of occupation. Definitely shows how he was following his feelings. I loved the conversations between he and Edmond. Edmond makes a great role model for him. I hope that well-meaning Richard finally finds the vocation that best suits his personality. ;)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/06/10
This was a fun read. I was giggling quite a bit. Well done!
Barbara Lynn Culler09/07/10
I want to read more!
Sarah Elisabeth 09/07/10
haha, I liked Dick! Good writing as always
Virgil Youngblood 09/07/10
In search of a career path -- some things never change. You have penned a delightful tale.
Beth LaBuff 09/07/10
I loved the comedic mischief of the novice monk. This is very cleverly woven together and with a fun title!
Jody Day 09/08/10
Great job and a good chuckle.
Cheryl Harrison 09/08/10
I even giggled at "tonsured hair" :o). I was going to look it up in the dictionary, but then figured out it must mean his head was shaved. This was cute. Thanks.
Mona Purvis09/08/10
Fresh and delightful. Good reading. Love it,.

Mona
Edmond Ng 09/08/10
A very interesting read and an unusual way of helping others! LoL!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/09/10
Congratulations for placing in the top 40 overall.
Amanda Brogan09/10/10
Yay Caity! You placed in the top 40! *Cheers and claps*